What Do You See in Others…Before They See It In Themselves?

“You know, Denise, they pay speakers.” my mentor, Sam Horn said to me in 2006.

I must have stared at her for a full minute, processing what she’d said.

It had absolutely never occurred to me that this thing I loved to do -- speaking in front of an audience -- was something I could do for pay. It had also never occurred to me that I might be good enough at speaking that someone would pay me for the privilege of doing so.

I still give thanks to Sam for seeing something in me, long before others did, and long before I did myself.

Ever since, I’ve tried to pay forward her trust in me not just by building my speaking skills and platform but by paying attention to others and speaking up when I see something in them that they don’t yet see in themselves.

I’ve encouraged women to run for office, take their seat at the table, become speakers and authors, pursue their entrepreneurial dreams. I have recommended people for jobs, helped them pitch themselves more effectively for their dream position, and coached numerous entrepreneurs seeking funding. It is joyous and rewarding work.

And it is something that any one of us can do.

I believe we all have that capacity to see others for who they are, often before they can see the possibilities in themselves. If we are paying attention, we can see other's gifts and talents that they doubt or overlook. We can see other's skills and aptitudes -- that they believe are something that everyone must have -- are a unique combination that lets them stand out. We can see other's possible future paths and encourage them to take one.

One of the gifts of being a leader in a corporation or organization is the chance to sit in a room with others and decide who gets the next project, role, or promotion. When done right, those kinds of conversations open doors for people just as my mentor did for me. If you are in those rooms, you can speak up on behalf of someone, you can give them the opportunity to take a stretch assignment or lead a team for the first time. You can identify someone as future top talent and get them the training and development they need to get there.

Or you can overlook the possibilities – because someone doesn’t look, or sound, or show up like you do…or like you have always imagined that leaders of projects and teams and companies should look and sound and show up. Maybe they are too loud, or too quiet. Maybe they are too bold, or not bold enough. Maybe they have just never done it before, and you just don’t know if you should trust them to figure it out or believe that they can.

But here’s the thing about people who don’t look like (or sound like, or act like) the ‘norm’ of leaders in corporations and organizations. To even get in that room or to that place where they are today, they have likely survived…and thrived, through circumstances that would have daunted someone with less capacity to figure it out and forge a path forward.

Your job is to stop closing doors to their next possibility and instead say, “I believe” -- I believe this person is ready, this person can do it, this person is going to be great…if we just give them a chance.

Your job is to stop closing doors to their next possibility and instead say, “I believe” -- I believe this person is ready, this person can do it, this person is going to be great…if we just give them a chance.

And not just a chance, but we must also give them support and resources and be their champion moving forward. Because my mentor Sam Horn did not just give me the idea to become a speaker, she invited me to attend a 3-day training program she offered for potential speakers…for free. And she encouraged me to ask to be paid the next time someone invited me to speak – and then to raise my rates as I became a better speaker. She also invited me to hear her speak , which was a master class in itself.

Since that time, she has championed me again and again, recommending me for speaking opportunities and providing me other chances to stretch, to learn, and to see myself as she sees me.

The good news is that we don’t have to be ‘in the room where it happens’ in a corporation or organization in order to tap into talent. There are lots of great folks all around us that just need someone to believe. They could be a friend, a colleague, a cousin, or someone we go to school with. They could be someone we just met, or someone we've known for years. Most likely they are just a little lost and could really use your help to find their way.

I encourage you to share this article with someone you see as a budding leader or candidate or speaker and tell them what you see. Encourage them to see themselves as you see them – and then help them learn what it takes to be successful on the path ahead.

Share in the comments what you’ve been doing to believe in and champion others and what you commit to do next. It will make my day!