But what do you really want?
Peter Cook
Author. Chair. Mentor. Monk. Helping people get what they want, do the work they're meant to do and live extraordinary lives.
My last blog was about three steps to getting what you want.
The problem is we don’t really know what we want. Have you ever had the experience of achieving something significant, or getting something big, and then feeling flat? Like perhaps that wasn’t it after all.
So what do you really want? Why do you want that job? That car? That house? That relationship? That holiday? That meal? That experience?
My friend Wayne Clayton has some deep thinking about this over a number of years, decades actually. He says that fundamentally we are driven by how we feel, and there are five feelings we are seeking:
- Safe
- Well
- Connected
- Worthy
- Free
It’s a pretty big idea. And I think he’s onto something. We want the job to feel more safe. We want the car to feel more worthy. We want to holiday to feel free. Maybe. Or some combination.
I think it’s worth considering if Wayne is right, and if this is what you really want. And then considering if how you’ve designed your life is the best way to get that.
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3 年Peter, thanks for sharing your article. Knowing what you want is not an easy process to go through. As they can say, the sky is the limit. However, learning how to specify things that we desire helps us to focus our energy on getting them.
Learning & Workforce Development, Facilitator, Certified Coach and MHFA Instructor, helping curious learners identify and address performance gaps
3 年Thank for you for this article Peter Cook. Refining what I want is certainly a work in progress as change happens around us and of course as humans we also change along the way.