What do you do once the scales have fallen from your eyes?

This year has been a revelation and a half and for so many of us, it’s changed not only how we see ourselves but also how we see those around us.

From the patent ignorance of systemic racism to carrying on with the same shady behaviour as before. 

It’s not simple to work the same as before, but neither should we want to.

The reality is that the US election and the outcome with Kamala Harris being elected as VP won’t change our day to day. I am not knocking the progress and I’m not saying that it can’t eventually impact our day to day but right now, it’s still business as usual. We can’t let this momentarily pump us up and let it play a larger part in our self-worth than it should. 

Because in spite of this momentous achievement, we will face the daily battles as before, we will still be forced to contemplate our next move when our bosses still ignores our work and make us feel devalued.

Is will be easy to wonder where they have been this year because it hasn’t been important for them to make any changes.

The reality is that many can and will still continue to fully exercise their privilege of neither needing to care nor needing to change. We cannot afford to plunder our energies into what they are not doing.  

For now, we have to keep focused on what we can change and that is what is within our control. We have to start with our day to day life. 

In the professional capacity, there are three things we have to remember: 

1. change is uncomfortable and that as we demand more respect there will be pushback.
2. The words such as aggressive will be used to control us and try to make us conform to our previous behaviour
3. We have already proved our value and shouldn’t try to put more efforts into changing their mind 

Point 3 is especially important. We don’t need to change anyone’s mind. If they don’t think we are good enough, they won’t change their mind, but we can keep working on how we feel about ourselves and developing the clarity to know what we want to achieve. 

We can no longer afford to shy away from the issues. We have to keep pushing on to educate ourselves in learning how these systems work against us and how they can work for us. There are a set of secret rules, that we don’t automatically learn, especially as Black women and this has to be our mission. 

In many of the situations, that we face it is clear to the person we speak to that we are on the back foot not understanding how things truly work? Now we know that there is more to the eye that we see and the extent to which we are oppressed, it is critical that we push forward. By this, I mean constructively, clearly and with purpose. 

So when your boss takes your suggestion, but from another colleague, have no shame in asking your boss, why they took the suggestion of colleague X over yours, especially when it was after yours. We have to start to truly owning who we are and ensuring that our actions match. Only then, do we have the remotest chance of success for ourselves and those who come after us. 

Part of the change in valuing ourselves is that we should no longer have that fear of holding people accountable. Whether they have made the error intentionally or not, it should still be discussed, dissected and then resolved. 

Every one of these moments is a moment to redirect their behaviour. We don’t have to sit and educate them, but until companies do more to make Black women feel equally welcome, equally safe and equally valued, we have to keep highlighting this behaviour.

It isn’t the destiny of every person to be self-employed and sometimes it’s about navigating the waters we are swimming in, rather than pastures new.

Once colleagues realise that we are no longer the house slave, they won’t know what to do at first but once they realise this isn’t a phase, they will slowly have to adapt to change. In ways where we may have been flexible out of fear, we will be able to question what’s happening.

The ability to do this won’t happen overnight and don’t put pressure on yourself to make these changes immediately, but don’t give your power away and let others dictate the tone.

Because besides what you do, there is who you are and that is a wonderful Black woman.