What do you mean?

“Communication works for those who work at it.” – John Powell

You might recall that when you first read about the meaning of communication in classrooms, you learnt that a communication process involves two people—the sender and the receiver. So, the fundamental aspect of good communication is when the message sent by the sender is well received or understood at the other end. Very simple, basic rule, right?

Yet, most of the world’s problems stem from a lack of effective communication, where the message that is being sent is not received in the same form and meaning because of the way it is sent. The rules of effective communication maybe simple but are also forgotten as easily, because, even when we know the process of communication well, we don’t always excel at the art of it.?

Language—The Foundation

A core component of our communication is the language we use. That's another thing we learn about in classrooms. These days we also practice it extensively on social media, but what we often fail to remember is that the basic purpose of language is not to show your fluency/skills, but to get the message across—to communicate. If your language is fancy but lacks emotion, the message gets lost. Similarly, if it is simple but lacks substance, there is no impact. A common, unspoken myth among professionals is that using complex sentences makes you appear more learned and intelligent. We make ourselves believe that if our thoughts and ideas are incomprehensible for the audience, probably they are the ones not making enough effort to understand it or just happen to be ignorant. As readers/listeners too, to avoid being seen as incompetent, we sometimes nod along even when we can’t appreciate much of the communication, thus perpetuating the inauthenticity. No wonder our workplaces, and platforms where ideas are exchanged, have more intellectual arrogance and pretention than genuine communication. People often hide the gaps in their understanding behind jargon-filled or complex sentences. Authentic communication, however, comes only from those who really have a grasp on the matter, which enhances their ability to explain it in simple terms.

This is also the idea behind the?Feynman Technique—a technique for learning or reviewing a concept quickly by explaining it in plain, simple language. It’s named after Nobel Prize-winning physicist Richard Feynman who, in addition to being a brilliant scientist, was also known as "The Great Explainer" for his capacity to communicate complex ideas to others in simple, intuitive ways.

The Presentation

Apart from the language, the structure and tone of the message plays a key role too. How you start and end your communication, and what primary emotion is it laden with, all of it matters in getting the right point across. For instance, when communicating a potentially unpleasant message, or asking for a favour, do you get straight to the point or do you prepare the receiver with something polite, an explanation or a background. That is not to say that we should stretch unnecessarily, brevity is an art in itself (clearly, I am working on it too :D) and often the key to impactful messages. There are situations, however, when you audience needs more than just smart content—it needs a strategy. The length, structure, timing and disposition, together comprising the presentation. For instance, think of why some ads or promotional materials influence you more than others? Because they carefully sew the message inside their presentation, grab your attention at significant times and appeal to your senses. They make you feel something or connect to an experience or issue that matters to you. The way your communication makes others feel is often of greater influence than its actual intent or content. Social psychology even has a term for this called “the framing effect”.

The Delivery

As a teenagar and young adult, I often made the mistake of assuming that as long as I am being honest and straightforward, how I say it should not matter and failed communication, in those cases, is not my problem. The failure/conflict must be attributed to the other person, who has no appetite for the truth. Obviously, I was na?ve and mistaken! As I gained more experience of handling challenging situations where communication played a key role in problem solving, my understanding improved. The key lesson I learnt was simple—even if our point is 100% correct or truthful, it has to be delivered in the right manner for impact.

While there’s a lot that goes into understanding the right way of delivering an argument, a message or an instruction, the two basic tools we should always employ are Humility and Empathy—try not to sound like a know-it-all and try to listen to what you are saying from the listener’s point of view (be your own audience first). The key to effective communication is building trust and making your audience feel that what you have to say is of significance for them. ?

In effect, people who make the conscious effort to adapt their language and vocabulary according to who they are communicating with—keeping their pride aside—are the ones who get things done.

Now, would it be an exaggeration to say that all the great theories on negotiation or persuasion are built on these two key lessons---1. Keep your Ego in Check. You don’t know everything, so always leave room for discovery when you communicate, and 2. Your communication is only as good as the imagination and understanding of the other person, so keep in mind the receiver’s worldview and build a connection first, to build influence.

Which is why, mastering effective communication is not easy. "Awareness" is the first step, "Practice" is the second, third and umpteenth.

“Great communication depends on two simple skills-context, which attunes a leader to the same frequency as his or her audience, and delivery, which allows a leader to phrase messages in a language the audience can understand.”

—?John C. Maxwell