What Do You Live Your Life By?

I make no bones about it I am a bit of a word geek and I am fascinated by language, phonetics and words. i think this is why the Latin phrases Ryan Holiday uses in his writings is something I find so interesting. I don't in the least mind saying that I think Ryan is a brilliant writer and conveyor of ideas, as well as someone who is a rarity in the way he voraciously consumes literature. If anyone needed any evidence as to the power of reading, Ryan Holiday embodies it. 

He recently shared a piece on what principles we live by. It is an ultimately inspiring essay, not least in that it asks what are our own non negotiable absolutes. What a powerful question. This alone should stop you in your tracks. If you cannot answer the question, which I guess covers the vast majority of the population then you are, as Ryan refers to later on in the article, 'winging it’’.

Now I don't know about you but it is my intention, if nothing else to live my life on purpose. Someone said the definition of hell is meeting the person you could have been at your funeral. Maybe so. If we do not know what is right for us how can we successfully track any progress or know whether we are doing the right thing? How many people live and have lived their whole lives never having even considered this? Maybe just contemplating this will change your life forever in ways you cannot imagine. 

I found Ryan’s work on this so powerful, with its wonderful Latin phrases, that I am going to share my own thoughts on it, so here goes.

Vivere Militare Est

To live is to fight.

This is a maxim that brings so much peace of mind. It is one of those things that when understood means you fight a battle once, instead of multiple times a day. Maybe it is only experience that teaches us this principle, if ever. Maybe we have heard it numerous times before, possibly in a different form but as with many things until the student is ready, we cannot hear the real message. 

Jordan Peterson is a modern day thinker whose work underlines this principle. Life will get you in the end, he says. Of course we will all succumb to the end of our physical existence. Ryan Holiday encourages us to be aware of this all the time. Peterson uses mother nature as one example of how hard life can be and talks of how we have to consistently combat her. Free lunches are a bad idea. Over protection is too. Resilience is an evolved aspect of character, or so it seems. If we can accept the fact that there will be challenges, delays, difficulties and tragedies we are on a course of understanding. Now how we perceive, label and deal with such events is another discussion altogether. For now suffice to say that life will have its way, not our way, its way. Let us go with it, face it, be fully immersed in it and accept it for what it is. Beautiful.

Semper Fidelis

Always Faithful

This is a phrase that really touched and inspired me. Are there many greater things in life than a companion who is always faithful? How many of us have experienced the unconditional companionship of a dog, who despite our own mood and fall out remains faithful and consistent no matter what. They seem to show love irrelevant of how they are treated. It is a wonderful thing. 

I think in this case being faithful refers to your self determined values. It is demonstrating in life, through your deeds what you are committed to, what you believe in, what you consider right and what your philosophy is. It is sincerity, being true to yourself and your words. It is a state of alignment where what you know to be true for you is how you live your life to the best of your ability. Irrelevant of outcomes, as Ryan Holiday has reminded us many times quoting Marcus Aurelius, it is about nothing but just doing the right thing. Always faithful.

Fatum Ingenium Est

Character is Fate.

The word character seems to always bring to my mind the words of Stephen Covey. He wrote inspiringly about character and its power to forge your life. Doing the right thing, no matter what the consequences, as Ryan quotes frequently is possibly the ultimate test of character. It demonstrates how committed the person really is to what it is they say they stand for, if at all they do say. Many just go about their lives, living true to their ideals without rhetoric or explanation. Bravo. 

We get attracted to the wrong paths. Paths that apparently lead to the riches we believe are there and will fulfil us. The character ethic, however, tells another story. It talks of an inward focus. One that is simple but not necessarily easy. A road less travelled. One without the promise of bright lights around the corner. It is the track that leads away on to the hero’s journey, the signposts for which exist within. The way can be mundane, quiet, peaceful and lonely. We have to face, what we have to face if we are to overcome before we arrive back safely home. It is not the return that provides the fulfilment, it is the journey. Character is fate, the journey provides, the passage creates. Herein lies all the beauty of the ride on the river and the mountain path that lead us home. Don’t delay, it’s later than you think. 

Carpe Diem 

Seize The Day

Ah a perfect introduction to Carpe Diem. How beautiful: seize the day. It is all we have. I love the lines:

 ‘….for this is life, the very life of life and in it lie all the verities and realities of your existence.’ 

When we have a meaningful purpose, we cannot wait to get going, to get into what it is we love. We have enthusiasm, which means God or spirit within. We are inspired. We are in flow. We are doing what it is we feel we are here to do. 

Sometimes however we do not have this energy. We may feel distracted, fatigued, sad or uncertain. At such times ‘carpe diem’ can be just as powerful. At times like this we may need to just begin. Beginning is half done. ‘Seize the day’ is ours to use. It is a powerful mantra that fits so well with momento mori. It moves us to value time and avoid procrastination. Life is life and at times within it there is a time to rest and a time to work. No matter what is before us though, what needs to be done or what we are inspired to do, ‘carpe diem’ can be a friend for life, 

Fac, Si Facis  

If You’re Going To Do It, Do It.

I always thought that action was where the rubber meets the road. Without action there is no result. Maybe so. Whatever your thoughts on this, fac si facis, says that if you are going to do something, do it well, do it properly and to the best of your ability. I am certain many of us will have heard this said in different ways, possibly by school teachers or parents. Something along the lines of, that if a job is worth doing it is worth doing well. Great advice and if we are going to spend any of our precious life on anything, let’s make sure it is worth it. Be present in what you do, give it your all and watch the magic unfold.

I think it is in this arena is where the extra mile often comes in. When those voices to give up start to whine and vie for your attention, alter your focus, immerse yourself in the process, you will get into your flow, and feel you’re being carried downhill, with the wind at your back and the sun on your face. 

Festina Lente

Make Haste Slowly

One thing I have suffered with in my life is something that Thoreau described beautifully in Walden, as ‘quiet desperation’. He said that most people live lives akin to this. He was referring to that state of almost constant inner anxiety. I am sure it exists in people for different reasons. For me it was a feeling of pressure to achieve and ‘to get there’. To get where? To the next goal, the next mountain top, where I felt my happiness was. I had this inner drive to be better, bigger, more ’successful’ and then everything would be okay and I could rest a while. That place never came, I never arrived, or would it be more accurate to say that when I got there I didn’t feel any better. I only experienced the same push to move on to the next place, to attain some peace and satisfaction. 

Enjoying any journey was a phrase I’d heard but emotionally didn’t understand. Where did it come from, this driving? I think, from years of introspection, it came from a lack of a certain type of love as a child, in the most important formative years. Let me be honest, I came from a middle class family in England and lacked nothing materially. My mother, is a lady who as a child herself experienced a lack of nurturing in her own early years and endured being sent away to a boarding school at a very young age. She was someone who had not been taught to love in this way. The vital importance of love in the early years, from a helpless infant to the beginnings of independence, cannot be understated in terms of its impact on a human life. I refer to my own experiences and that of my two brothers as evidence of this along with two other things I consider worth mentioning. 

During the humanitarian crisis in Eastern Europe in the latter part of the twentieth century there were reports of the deaths of many Romanian orphans. These children were provided with food, water and protection from the elements in very basic places of safety. Yet despite this, many of them died. They were housed in rows of cots and for months received food, water and basic care needs. What was not available was human touch, or one to one love from a mother figure. They were hardly picked up or held. They were starved of ‘love’. It is thought they died through this lack of human contact, so necessary at this time of life.

It is no secret that an anxious or upset child is only comforted by being in the arms of his or her mother. There is no substitute. Nothing else will suffice. This is love of the most vital and precious kind. What does this love do? It probably says everything that is beyond words but for me it says: you are loved, you are cared for, you are safe, I will be here for you, everything will be alright, there’s nothing to worry about. I think the message that is learnt subconsciously from this is one that provides a basis of security that allows a person to exist in and relate to his or her world in a much better way than one in whom such a foundation is lacking. It gives a green light to trust, to reach out, to care and to be courageous. The seeds of these infinitely consequential characteristics are sown by these acts of natural love and tenderness in the early years.

If such seeds are not planted and watered and these personality pillars are absent then the child and then the adult looks for love, as Esther Hicks says, ‘in all the wrong places’. We spend our lives in that ‘quiet desperation’ searching for this worthiness and love. We look for it in all manner of things: success, money, other people as well as chemicals and activities that numb the edge. 

Fortunately on my own journey, I have been able to find myself and that has made all the difference. In coming to understand myself it feels like I have found everything. In this state, which needs daily renewal, by the way, there is no such anxiety and you learn to do your work and allow the world to come to you, instead of chasing dragons and shadows. You do it in kairos instead of chronos. Your world is one of much more peace. You recognise your own power and ditch the forcing. Baby steps and incremental subtleties become your mantra as you observe from a place of detachment. 

Quidvis Recte Factum Quamvis Humile Praeclarum

Whatever Is Rightly Done, However Humble, Is Noble

Now this may be a difficult one. To always do the right thing, no matter what is a tall order for any saint. A high ideal to live up to indeed. That is, I think, what it should be, an ideal. 

If we are present, we know ourselves, what our values are, what we will accept and will not then recognising the right path should be easier. Doing the right thing when consequences may be drastic and suffering may ensue is another thing altogether. In the cold light of day are we prepared to accept the consequences of our considered decisions. Choosing to face them head on with the potential storms is may create a fear in us. This is what it is, just a fear. ultimately what is the right thing, remains the right thing. If we choose a path of avoidance our peace of mind may always be disturbed, there will be a know in out mattress or a flea in our bed. Better to deal with it now. 

Will you have the fortitude to stand up and take the acute crisis of the road less travelled to freedom. The majority will continue the load bearing trudge to more flatlands. The good news is, it’s always your choice. 

Per Angusta Ad Augusta 

Through Difficulties To Honours

Iron ore only becomes steel through the process of forging. Diamonds are only created when carbon is put under immense pressure for extended periods of time. It is our trials and challenges that make us what we are. As much as we can have a natural tendency to search for ease and comfort, it does not appear to be these things which facilitate growth, No class athlete, performer or master has become so without thousands of hours of effort and purposeful practice. Staying in the comfort zone is not an option if we are to fulfil our potential. Let us be brave and courageous and step out on our hero’s journey with an open heart and a faith that what we will be able to find within ourselves that which we need in order to encounter bravely and overcome.

Amor Fati 

Love of Fate

In theory how can this be as a mortal human being? I hear the shouts of those who have suffered what seem to be grave misfortune, death of a loved one, a child, injustice and injury. How is it possible to love this? The answer is, I do not know. What I do know is something linked to the line that pain is guaranteed but suffering is optional. By this I mean that no one is immune to the occurrences that go with the territory of being a human being. We all however have the ultimate choice as to how we respond to any circumstance. I take strength and understanding from the examples of Victor Frankl and others who survived The Holocaust in a specific way, the parents of Amy Biehl, who founded a charity to help young disadvantaged people after their daughter was murdered and those involved in The Truth and Reconciliation Committee work of South Africa. 

Such acts of moving forward and forgiveness are only possible when one comes to terms with the cards one has been dealt. This is amor fati, the state of mind that brings you peace in any circumstance, a peace that can only be found within oneself.

Memento Mori 

Remember Death

How powerful this is to contemplate. What a lesson in facing our fears to help us truly on the way to real freedom. Contemplating this seems to have two essential values. One when we remember, our physical bodies are finite in this form, it enables us to overcome procrastination and not waste our precious time. Secondly and more profoundly it can lead us on to a deeper search that reveals a greater truth, one that is ultimately freeing. Whatever the outcome of pondering the reality of our physical mortality. let it empower us.

Semper Anticus  

Always Forward

The only effect we can have is in the present moment. We cannot affect what has gone and we can only affect what will come by what we do in the present. All our power is now. By bringing our attention into the present moment and immersing ourselves in it we will assert our greatest potency. Looking forward gives hope. We can plan and consider and do what we think is the right thing to move towards what it is we want, but the only time we can do that is right now. Focussing on the present moment is the best possible way to move forward.

As I said at the start the inspiration behind this is from the work of Ryan Holiday. The thoughts on each area are my own. What I would wish, is that you are inspired to ponder these powerful maxims for yourself and to discard, rewrite and create your own as you see fit, as the mould into which you pour your own life experiences.

____________________ 

The Author

Rob is a UEFA qualified coach with a League Managers Association qualification and a science and medicine background. He has worked in the football industry in Europe, The USA, Asia and Africa; at International, Premiership, League, Non-League and grass roots levels with both World Cup and European Championship experience

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