What Do Women Want?

"Women want a man who can say I love you every night and prove it every day."-Boonaa Mohammed

The topic at hand was previously explored during one of the Real Boys Forum Virtual Meetups, where my wife, Margaret Adesewa Dansu, and a dear sister, Rebecca Maulome Padonu-Olabanjo, joined as guests. Their insights resonated with the writings of experts like Suzanne Degges-White from Northern Illinois University, and contributors such as Rachael Pace and Sylvia Smith from Marriage.com. Together, they presented various perspectives on what women generally look for in relationships, especially marriage.

One of the most important aspects women value in a relationship is a deep emotional connection. This goes beyond the surface level; it involves a profound intimacy that stems from understanding and empathy. Women often seek partners who can engage in meaningful conversations, who are open about their feelings, and who show a genuine interest in understanding their thoughts and emotions. This emotional intimacy creates a safe space where both partners feel comfortable expressing their true selves without fear of judgment. When a woman feels understood, she feels valued and respected. A relationship where there is an open line of communication, where emotions are freely shared and received, can lead to a stronger bond and a lasting connection. Emotional intimacy, therefore, is a cornerstone for building trust and deepening the relationship over time.

Trust is a fundamental component in any relationship, and for women, it often takes centre stage. Without trust, no relationship can truly thrive. Women generally desire partners who are honest and transparent in their dealings, who can be relied upon, and who stay true to their word. Honesty builds confidence in the relationship, allowing both parties to feel secure. It involves being truthful not just in big matters but also in everyday situations. A reliable partner who consistently demonstrates honesty can help ease insecurities and fears, enabling a relationship to flourish. Trust takes time to build, but it can be quickly shattered. Hence, nurturing trust through consistent honesty and reliability is crucial for the health and longevity of the relationship.

A relationship, particularly a marriage, is seen as a partnership where both individuals support each other’s dreams and goals. Women often appreciate partners who show genuine interest in their aspirations and provide encouragement and assistance when needed. A sense of partnership means that both parties contribute their fair share to the relationship, sharing responsibilities, and making decisions together. It is not just about dividing chores or financial contributions; it also includes emotional support, such as being there for one another during challenging times. When a woman feels that her partner is truly supportive, she feels empowered to pursue her ambitions and grow as an individual. This sense of mutual support strengthens the bond between partners and creates a spirit of teamwork, making the relationship more resilient against life's challenges.

Expressions of love and affection play a vital role in maintaining the warmth and connection in a relationship. Women often cherish regular displays of affection, whether they come in the form of kind words, thoughtful actions, or small gestures that show care and consideration. These expressions help keep the romantic spark alive and reinforce the emotional bond between partners. They do not have to be grand or extravagant; sometimes, it is the little things, like a warm hug, a loving note, or a simple compliment, that mean the most. Affectionate gestures remind women that they are loved and valued, creating a sense of comfort and belonging. Consistent expressions of love help to build a strong emotional foundation that can withstand the test of time.

A relationship tends to be more harmonious when both partners have aligned values and goals. This includes having similar views on family, finances, and future aspirations. Women often seek partners with whom they can share a common vision of the future, whether it is about raising children, building a career, or managing finances. When both parties agree on what matters most, it creates a sense of unity and purpose. Shared values provide a guiding framework for decision-making and help prevent conflicts over fundamental beliefs or priorities. When partners are on the same page regarding their goals and values, they can navigate life’s challenges together with greater ease and understanding.

Mutual respect and equality are essential in any relationship. Women want to be treated as equals and have their opinions, contributions, and achievements valued. They desire a partner who acknowledges their worth and does not undermine or belittle their thoughts or feelings. Respect means listening to each other, valuing each other’s perspectives, and making decisions together as a team. It also involves recognizing each other’s strengths and weaknesses and supporting one another without judgment. Equality in a relationship means that both partners have an equal say in matters that affect them and share responsibilities fairly. A relationship built on respect and equality tends to be more balanced and satisfying, allowing both partners to feel empowered and appreciated.

A fulfilling physical relationship is another important aspect for many women. While emotional intimacy is crucial, physical intimacy also plays a significant role in creating a deeper bond between partners. Women often seek partners who are attentive, considerate, and understanding of their needs in this regard. Physical intimacy should be approached with sensitivity and respect, recognising that it is a mutual expression of love and affection. It helps to build closeness and can enhance the overall emotional connection in a marriage. A healthy physical relationship, where both partners feel comfortable and satisfied, contributes significantly to their overall happiness and well-being.

Marriage is often viewed as a journey of growth and companionship. Women look for partners who are willing to grow alongside them, adapting to changes and learning from life’s experiences. This includes being open to self-improvement and supporting each other through both good times and challenging moments. Growth in a relationship involves learning from past mistakes, celebrating achievements, and continuously working towards becoming better individuals and partners. Companionship means being there for each other, not just in times of joy but also during hardships. It involves sharing experiences, creating memories, and building a life together. A marriage built on growth and companionship tends to be more resilient and fulfilling, as both partners feel supported and encouraged to be their best selves.

In summary, women often look for a range of qualities in a relationship that contribute to a strong, meaningful, and lasting partnership. Emotional connection, trust, support, affection, shared values, respect, physical intimacy, and a commitment to growth and companionship are all elements that can help build a healthy and fulfilling relationship. These qualities are interwoven, each supporting the other to create a solid foundation that allows love to flourish. When these aspects are present, they create a nurturing environment where both partners can thrive together, facing life’s challenges hand in hand and enjoying the rewards of a deep, committed, and loving relationship.

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