What to do when you're not sure what to do.

It's Monday, just after 9 am here in Brisbane. This morning I am at my office overlooking Ipswich Road. The constant hum of traffic and the fans on my PC providing the backing vocals to the day.

Last week I reflected on the time off and what an impact it had made to fully disconnect from my regular life. To throw myself wholeheartedly into an adventure sailing the Whitsundays with my wife and son.

This time gave me some desperately needed opportunity for introspection. What am I doing, where am I going, what's next. These are the big questions that have been circulating in my mind since I got a call late last year. This call was on a Friday and I was about to meet a friend to check out the Ducati he had recently added to his collection.

This specific call represented the culmination of four years of work, sacrifice, and a singular dedication to achieving this one goal. A strange thing happened after that call before I'd even had a moment to appreciate what had just happened, the first thing I wondered was well, I've ticked that off, what's next?

Four years of work to reach that moment. Four years. My first thought? What's next?

This was a little frustrating as I was reminded that once you climb to a peak, there is always another just on the horizon. Over breakfast with a friend, I was reflecting on this and what to aim for next.

With eighteen years in business and having built his from the ground up, he said to me "you're missing a crucial part of the journey."

"Just enjoy it."

With all the plans I was considering, the next big thing to focus my energy on, I hadn't even considered this as a possibility. Enjoy the moment, celebrate the success. Seems like a self-indulgent waste of time, but he was on to something.

With that advice constantly ringing in the back of my mind, I got back to work. The job was completed, mission accomplished, enjoyed it, now what's next.

What's next has been really troubling me, as I have felt like a ship lost at sea, searching for a marker, a star a beacon, anything to tell me where to point next.

It wasn't coming.

During the time off, I picked up a book. Something I haven't done in a long time. The book was Becoming by Michelle Obama. It was so incredible, I read it cover to cover in the space of a few days. Her life journey and the struggles she experienced were summed up in her self-belief and persistence, that you need faith, do the work, and keep moving forward. The struggles she faced were summed up in that she had to work twice as hard to get half as far. An exceptional person by any measure and if you haven't read it, do yourself a favor.

The garden she planted at the White House and the program she created to build and encourage improvements in children's nutrition was adequately summed up in that faith. Prepare the soil, plant the seeds, tend to the garden, and be patient. Over time you reap rewards.

As I looked at my own journey, the year 2020 was one of significant change. It was also the year that I turned forty. As does with every year, I reflect on what has happened, what I've achieved, and whether I'm still on track.

Happily married for over a decade, I have a wonderful, healthy son. My wife and I built a new home together. My business has been running for over twelve years and I have a small collection of old vehicles to tinker with. The things I set out to do, I have done. Are they perfect? Not at all, like an old LandCruiser, they each require care, attention, and preventative maintenance.

However this all just feels like the start, I still feel as though I haven't even scratched the surface yet, that there is so much more to be done. These goals ticked off only add to my confusion as I ponder what's next.

As I sit here in this moment, I have a few ideas but none quite feel like something I'm ready to lock in and dedicate another decade to. However, there has been one thing. When I don't know what to do, I've always found it helpful to focus on what I can control.

During COVID and subsequent lockdown, the stress and angst were constant. Something we can all relate to. My two crutches were food and alcohol.

As I said to my wife, it's not a good solution, but it is a solution!

We would laugh and just find a way to get on with it. The side effect of this was a sneaky 10kg gain. When my son said to me, dad, you have a big tummy. That one got me. So I've been taking it seriously. Counting my calories, daily exercise, better sleep, I've thrown away the crutches.

I've been using a Fitbit, and I've had tracking devices on and off over the years since an early Polar heart rate monitor in the 90's, which was pretty trick for the time. The advances in these are pretty amazing and it's been helping me to take charge of the little things. To bring back some control, some order in the chaos. I've also been using the Calm app for a few months. Two thumbs up for that one as well if you haven't given it a go.

So while I don't have a big, hairy, audacious goal, I've got a few small ones. To be fully present for my family. To make my health a priority.

For the next ridiculous goal like my last one that I made four years ago of shooting an EPK and producing a TVC for Disney, you'll have to wait a bit longer for that.

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