What to do when you're feeling stuck...

It has been a year since I embarked on my daily writing challenge in May of 2020. A recent conversation motivated me to take on the challenge again in 2021, so I look forward to expanding my writing abilities while inspiring others and sharing my wisdom!

Stuck. Impatient. Purgatory. Many people I have recently interacted with are in this wretched place. It is the intermission of our life; between the steps in our careers, between our growth periods, between the fun. For many, it's quite an uncomfortable place to be in - myself included. I am your quintessential workaholic busy-bee, who is always out on the next adventure, looking to expand my repertoire of experiences and enjoy life to the fullest. When I am in the lull, I feel like I am on a deserted island with no hope in sight. Lethargic, moody, and full of self-pity could describe how I can feel inside.

It is important to remember that these feelings of frustration and periods of inaction are normal. They are part of the natural ebb and flow of everything. Imagine how you would operate if your day consisted of 24 hours of direct sun? Forget changes in seasons and weather, radiant mornings, sunset-orange evenings, cool and refreshing nighttime - just 24 hours of direct sun. One day is probably fine... but what if it was a week? A month? A year? You'd get sick of it. It would burn you out - literally and figuratively. The same happens when you're constantly running full speed in your personal and professional endeavors. So I ask you: when are you creating time to rest?

Sometimes, these periods of rest are created without our conscious awareness - much like nighttime comes without us willing it to come. It is instinctive for us fast-paced folks to strive to conquer these valleys as fast as possible. However, the best thing we can do is focus more on being in the moment and less about doing whatever we think it takes to level-up in life. The problem that many encounter is that we have forgotten what it's like to "be," rather than do; so when we are not doing something, we feel like we are wasting our time and missing out on forward-moving progress.

Being is defined as appreciating each moment as it comes, recognizing the beauty and value in it, avoiding having an opinion and bias about it, and taking from it the best elements that you can. Doing is about goal-oriented action; we have made up our mind about what we want to achieve, and we push ourselves to achieve that one outcome in the particular way that we want to achieve it in. And when it's not happening the way we want, we get frustrated and discouraged because we are not keeping ourselves open to all possibilities. When that happens, typically these moments of respite may begin to creep up. An alternative situation is when a lesson or period of growth is coming to a close and a much-needed hiatus is on the horizon to let us prepare for the next challenge.

One of the most detrimental things that one can do once they recognize that they're in this period is to attempt to - unsuccessfully - push through it by busying themselves with anything that comes to mind. This is the equivalent of prolonging the inevitable. Filling yourself with more 'stuff' to do will create more resistance. Perhaps you will start to feel sick, or you will injure yourself in a way that forces you to be stuck in place for a while. Or you will see things not going your way and you may feel like you are ramming your head against a wall. It may feel like no one understands what you are saying, or you are being ignored. These are very real frustrations that can create more stress as a result. Let's avoid that as much as possible!

Here are my tips on how to be more and appreciate the valleys:

1) Recognize when you are in this type of moment and reflect on it. Take a few minutes to write about how you are feeling about being stuck in this void.

2) Give yourself permission to be still, have unstructured time, and an empty calendar. Remove all obligations.

3) Sit back and observe life as it happens with having no involvement or impact on what is happening around you. Embody what it means to be a fly on the wall.

4) Practice gratitude at the beginning of the day and at the end of your day. Make a conscious effort to find what is meaningful and healthy in your daily life.

5) Remind yourself that nothing is forever - this, too, shall pass! The sooner you relinquish control, the faster you can move through this period.

6) Remember that when your efforts are met with resistance, it is a blessing in disguise! There are better-suited opportunities and endeavors ahead of you!

7) Identify which aspect of you needs self-care right now; act accordingly.

a) Is your body healthy? Have you taken care of your skin, your appearance, your weight, your exercise routine? Have you gone to your regular checkups and taken preventative care measures?

b) Is your mind healthy? Can you still your thoughts on command? Can you let your thoughts flow without your judgement? Are you stuck in the same thought patterns, or are you expanding your perspectives through an open mind?

c) Is your soul/spirit healthy? Do you do what inspires you and allows you to show your best self? Are you improving the world around you, or are you contributing to the problem(s)? Are you creating a positive, lasting impact, or are you allowing life to pass you day-by-day?

I hope these suggestions help you find peace if you are feeling stuck. Trust that you are where you are meant to be and that better days are yet to come! Take it easy on yourself and grant yourself permission to enjoy this period of quiescence. You will appreciate it when your big moment arrives!