What To Do When You Lose a Sale

Your body undergoes a massive amount of stress when you lose a deal.

Scenario: you book an appointment with a cool company that fits your ideal customer profile perfectly. You have a great discovery call and you execute your pitch perfectly without sounding too sales-y.

They keep your second appointment where you present your custom proposal to them, which took you about an hour and a half to build and includes a bunch of solid analytics and critical insights for their business.

The prospect gives you a good timeline and assures you that they are the decision maker and are prepared to make the final call in a week and a half after they have had a chance to discuss with their team. You have a follow up meeting booked... and they miss it.

They send you a last minute email saying they had something come up and need to reschedule for later in the week. They even book a time on your calendar, and accept the meeting invite assuring you that they are still interested.

The next meeting comes along and you send them a note 15 minutes beforehand making sure that they are going to make it and you don't get a response. You launch the meeting and it's just you and your ai notetaker for 3, 4, 5, 6 minutes and then finally the *pong* of them joining your meeting reverberates through your skull and you snap into character. You've got the proposal in hand, the contract ready to go, and several tabs open with your CRM notes and links to competitors to look at together.

"Hey sorry for missing the last meeting" they say with sincerity. They brief you on the latest news about their business and then they let you know that they are getting pitched by several other companies and that they need a little bit more information before they are ready to make a decision. They ask to review a contract, talk with a client, and have some other common questions. Nothing you are weren't ready for.

You are chill as a cucumber. You get it. Gotta compare, gotta negotiate. You are Chris Voss, not splitting the difference, holding your ground with tactical empathy, and a flexible pricing structure.

They request whatever reports or references or whatever, and you handle it like a champ. You re-confirm the timeline, and set a follow up appointment to finalize a decision. After the call, you talk with your team about what they requested and get them everything they need within a few hours.

On your weekly call with your team, you can't really mask your excitement because they mentioned that you were their top choice but they were still evaluating some other options. You call your shot for the month with this great brand in mind and write it ceremoniously on the digital whiteboard.

They redline a bit of contract over email and the changes are acceptable. Everything is going smoothly. You follow up with a few value-add emails in between meetings and then the day finally comes. Your prospect joins the call on time. They have the agreement in hand, redlines approved, they've talked with your reference.

And then they break the news to you that they have decided to sign with another company.

"I am sorry, the board liked this other company that came with a more solid reference and we had to go with them. I really appreciate your time and attention and I hope we can work together in the future."

You stay calm and do your thing. The call goes for another 20 minutes but after every label and deal sweetener, it becomes clear to you that they have already signed an agreement with a competitor and you have lost the deal. You salvage what you can, conclude the call, and are left looking at a blank screen. "Saving recording."

Maybe a longer story than you wanted to read, but this happens. This happens more than you think. Let's consider for a second: what is your conversion rate? My lifetime conversion rate is about 25%. That means that I win about 1/4 deals that I work on. Not bad, right?

This also means that I have a 75% FAILURE rate! That means that 3/4 of my week is filled with disappointing calls where I don't make the cut.

I know this happens to you. If you are in sales, you experience so much disappointment that it should probably be declared a national crisis. But you are tough. You are resilient. You don't care about this deal.

Yeah you do. Don't be Mr. or Mrs. Macho. When you lose a deal, your brain releases the same chemicals as when you are getting chased by a lion. Fight or flight. Your brain can't tell the difference. Imagine getting chased by a lion for 3 full days out of the work week. Unbearable.

So what should you do when you lose a deal?

First, get away from your computer. Get out of the office. Get away from the situation and DO NOT WORK. If you booked back-to-back meetings, cut that shit out. You need a buffer and Google Calendar and CRM's like Hubspot can do that for you automatically. You don't need to take a 30 minute break. Your first objective just needs to be getting away from the source of your stress and anxiety.

Second, have a ritual that you perform every time that you experience failure. No I am not talking about animal sacrifice or anything like that. I am saying that you follow the advise of Atomic Habits and you have a "when I ____, I ____" scenario already planned beforehand. Mine is, "when I lose a deal, I go for a longboard ride." That's it, right it down, put it on the wall, and have a little discipline.

Third, and finally, call a friend, colleague, or mentor. Don't talk to your spouse. They don't need to be appraised of this level of work stress. Call up anyone who you know can talk about what happened and give you love and support. If you call your manager and they express disappointment in YOU, screw that job. Request a new manager or get a new job. You need support, not to get kicked when you are down.

I typically call one of three close friends who work in a similar industry, and we just talk for like 5-10 minutes. That is all you need.

With this formula, you will be a pro at dealing with disappointment and failure. I can't stress enough the importance of having a ritual that you perform EVERY TIME you experience this type of stress. You know sales is a numbers game, and if you can't march without losing enthusiasm, you will lose that numbers game, burn out, and quit.

You aren't a quitter. Get your head in the right place and give yourself a higher chance of long-term success by having a plan in place before the disappointment happens.

Peace and love,

Idea Dad

Eric Stopper