What to do when you just like, really can't be arsed

In the groups of people I am coaching this week one thing has become very clear. Many are feeling as though motivation is, to quote one of my clients, “at an all time low”.

Getting out of bed feels harder, doing our tasks feels like a bigger ask than it did before, we’re questioning why we even bother, do we like work anyway? Some are considering a total re-calibration of what is important in life whilst others can barely even begin to think past the next Twix (HELLO). 

It goes without saying, this is hardly surprising. When my coaching clients mention this to me I respond by asking something like: “In a perfect work day in a perfect time, what energises you?”

Ask yourself that question now, what is coming up? (Maybe even get a pen and paper and write it down if you're committed to feeling more motivated). Maybe you picture meetings with your team, a creative brainstorm, delivering a presentation, collaborating with clients or going for lunchtime walk with colleagues. Whatever it looks like for you, is the answer fundamentally different to what your working day currently looks like? 

For so many of us the elements of our days that most energise us are no longer accessible, though with ongoing deadlines and commitments, we are left drinking from our ever depleting reserves.

Research has shown that motivation is closely linked to reward. MRi scans have shown that humans are more likely to be motivated by intrinsic rewards, such as collaboration and fun, than extrinsic rewards, such as money. We know that not having novel physical and social stimuli can dampen our ability to create and studies have shown that being bored in our leisure time has a negative effect on our motivation.

Well shit. No wonder we can’t be arsed.

My first suggestion on what to do when you find yourself lacking in motivation is to:

Simply observe, don’t react

OK so your idea of a productive day has become putting on your socks before 11am. Cool. No biggie. This does not mean that you are destined to be a failure, are slacking, becoming shit at your job, losing your identity or any of the other stories we are telling ourselves. 

You are just a human behaving in a completely normal and rational human way.

Simply observe the lack of motivation, don’t let it pull you into panic or a big ass existential crisis (we’re all kinda crises-ed out right now anyway) and then with lots of self compassion ask yourself:

“What can I do today that will energise me?

Disclaimer this is not what do I need to do today? or what should I do today? just what can you do that will energise you. Without judgement, without stopping yourself to say that’s stupid or you don’t have time answer the question. What are your answers? 

These could be anything and will likely differ from person to person. Write a list (mentally or otherwise) of at least 15 things, make some tiny that will take a couple of minutes, others a little bigger. Ask yourself the question “what else?”. Dig deep, draw out the things that you’ve not thought of yet.

Some examples to potentially inspire you (or not, that’s fine, we’re all different) might be listen to your wedding playlist and dance in your knickers, follow a 5 minute energy meditation on YouTube, call a friend, watch some stand up, read a book, do some exercise, stick your head out the window and breathe deeply for 10 seconds, sleep, turn off your bastard phone, really be present with your children, eat toast with too much butter, walk barefoot in the grass, listen to thrash metal, stretch, write a list of things that you are grateful for, visualize your most exciting future (I shared an exercise on that last week) and tap into your own inner excitement about that.

And then, do that.

Prioritise those actions (like actually)

I understand that we have shifting priorities and extensive to do lists and maybe even tiny sticky hands pulling at our hair. I understand that for so many of us we are so well adjusted to being reactive and busy and stressed that anything less makes us feel like we’re slacking. I understand that for many of us taking care of ourselves first feels selfish and maybe even unrealistic. 

However, research has shown that people who prioritise small actions, which naturally bring about positive emotions, are happier (and more energetic and motivated) overall. 

“People should cultivate positive emotions in their own lives and in the lives of those around them, not just because doing so makes them feel good in the moment, but also because doing so transforms people for the better and sets them on paths toward flourishing and healthy longevity. When positive emotions are in short supply, people get stuck. They lose their degrees of behavioural freedom and become painfully predictable, bored and demotivated. But when positive emotions are in ample supply, people take off. They become generative, creative, resilient, ripe with possibility and beautifully complex.”

This is not simply feeling positive but more accurately making time for things that bring about positive emotions, in small ways, multiple times a day. If you need to take time out to come back stronger, do that, if you need to hype yourself up, do that. There is no right or wrong, what works for you, works for you.

What it means to be productive has fundamentally shifted. Taking time out with your children, reading a book, baking an afternoon cake or doing some exercise may feel like actions that get in the way of your productivity. The exact opposite is true. Making time for these actions is, in fact, our only way to maintain it.

Good luck x