What to do when you ‘fall’ or reach breaking point!

One of the most iconic moments in the original Superman movie is when he first appears and catches Lois Lane as she falls from a skyscraper.

“Easy Miss, I gotcha,” states the flying hero.

Shocked Lois replies, “You, you got me. Who’s got you?”

You can watch the scene here:

The question of ‘who’s got you’ has stuck with me for years and has become a regular one that I ask the busy, overwhelmed and stressed people I coach. These people are often so busy taking care of business and others - family, friends, work colleagues etc - and they forget to ask for help, and I am noticing this even more of this as 2020 moves on.

I ask, “Who’s got you?” Many look quizzically at me and ask, “What do you mean?”

I mean who’s got you? Who supports you?

Who takes the time to listen to you? To be your sounding board?

Be with you in those tough times? Help you to find solutions? Stop you wallowing in problems?

Help you realise that you are not on your own?

It may be our partner/spouse or family member. A colleague, boss or mentor. It may even be a masseuse, yoga teacher, therapist or, of course, a coach. It doesn’t matter who it is or whether it is paid or free. 

What is important is that you have someone. Even more so today, than ever!

Someone who has no agenda. Someone that can listen without judgement and be objective to your situation. Someone who can give you the space to talk through what's happening, how things are for you.

But many busy people tend to do that for others and place themselves lower down on the list (if on it all) and it's often when things reach breaking point that they realise they need to 'be caught' too.

I have lost track of the amount of stories I have heard in the last few weeks of people 'breaking' on zoom/teams calls. The simple question of 'how you doing?' being the last straw that tips someone over the edge. They are no longer able to hold back the tears. Men, women, CEO's to EA's.

Each story has been met with the same response. "We get it", "we hear you", "how can I help?"

When someone has 'broken', others have shared their similar experiences. Opened up. Empathised. No longer feeling the need that they have to hold it all together.

They have listened, shared resources, ideas and listened some more.

This year has placed more demands and challenges at people's doors, both personally and professionally. Some are strengthened by the situation, others not. And whilst we can be the one that catches someone, we also need to make sure that we have someone to catch us too.

Everyone who has shared their stories of their 'breaking point', has told of the relief they have felt after. Hearing others having similar experiences. Knowing that they are supported. And those that witnessed it have shared how 'brave' they think the other person is for being honest.

2020 is challenging. When you have the strength, be that 'superman' for someone else. But remember, we all need at least one person to be our ‘Superman’ – no lycra required! Someone who can be there when it feels like you are falling. When things are overwhelming or you feel lost, stressed, anxious or confused.

Whether your ‘Superman’ is a person that you are able to see in person or virtually, do so regularly - at least once a month - because all too often people wait until things get really bad before they ask for help. If they ask for help! Ask for support before it gets to that stage. Build resilience to deal with the curve balls that life throws by being both the catcher and the caught.