What to Do When You Don’t Trust Your Employee

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It is trust that transforms a group of people into a team. - Stephen Covey

Ponder this…

Trust among leaders for their employees is currently at an all-time low, confirmed by the recently published Microsoft Work Trends Index. Blame the remote or hybrid workplace or the Great Resignation, but no matter the cause, distrusting an employee often leads to troubling outcomes. Distrust can cause leaders to feel anxious and frustrated, hesitant to delegate, and prone to micromanaging. The adverse effects often extend beyond the leader-employee relationship, stealthily diminishing innovation, undermining morale, and inhibiting the performance of the broader team.

Two-way trust is essential to a healthy and productive leader-employee relationship. If you find yourself in the uncomfortable situation of distrusting a team member, here are five questions to ask yourself.

What is the source of my distrust?

We often talk about trust in all-or-nothing terms, but trust is usually situation-specific. Rarely will you distrust everything about someone. For example, you may trust your team member’s technical expertise but not their ability to present their ideas to clients.

Research shows that trust can be broken down into three components: competency (your faith in their ability to do the job), consistency (your belief that the person is reliable), and character (your belief that they have integrity). Like the indispensable legs of a three-legged stool, each component of trust is crucial in a relationship.?

To move past black-and-white thinking, ask yourself: Which component of trust is lacking here? What exactly did this person do or not do that has led to my distrust? Separate facts from assumptions and focus on specific problematic behaviors to get to the root of the issue.

Where am I willing to trust them??

When we feel we can’t trust someone, we fear what might happen if we extend our trust, which often leads to more widespread micromanagement. However, excessive control and scrutiny will likely reduce their motivation, productivity, and feelings of ownership, resulting in behaviors that further erode your trust. So it’s critical you give this person the opportunity to prove their trustworthiness.?

Identify the specific situations or assignments where you are willing to trust them. Make a list, and consider how you might incrementally build on these areas in low-risk ways. For example, if you trust your employee to communicate effectively within the team, try involving them in cross-functional meetings or broader discussions. If you trust your employee’s problem-solving abilities, try assigning increasingly complex tasks or providing more autonomy in tackling problems.

As you delegate and build on their tasks and responsibilities, focus on clear and frequent communication.

What specific behaviors are leading to my distrust?

Recall which of the three components of trust is low (competency, consistency, and character) and specify the behaviors that have degraded your trust. If you’ve identified that the source of your distrust is a lack of consistency, what exact behaviors have you observed that make you feel you can’t rely on them? Missed deadlines? A failure to follow through? Unanswered communication??

Then, provide descriptive and specific feedback on the problematic behaviors, describe the resulting negative impact, and align on moving forward productively. For example, “You’ve missed the weekly project status report deadline two weeks in a row, so I haven’t been able to update the executive team. Can we discuss what’s causing the delay and create a plan to rectify the situation?” Remember, no one considers themselves untrustworthy, so avoid using the word “trust” during your conversation.

How am I contributing to the situation???

A relationship’s dynamics and outcomes are shaped by both people, so it’s essential to consider your role in the current situation. Trust can erode when employees don’t clearly understand their roles, responsibilities, and expectations. Is it possible that you haven’t provided sufficient clarity or guidance?

Trust is inherently reciprocal. In other words, the more someone trusts you, the more likely you are to trust them in return. Try boosting trust in this relationship by shifting your focus away from what this person needs to do to regain your confidence to how you might signal your own trustworthiness. How might you demonstrate your judgment and expertise, integrity and care for them, and your dependability??

Also, consider whether a lack of visibility might be contributing to your distrust. With sparser in-person interactions, there’s more room to make negative and baseless assumptions about others. Do you need to let go of “seeing” them work and focus on their impact instead?

Can your trust be repaired??

While you can create trust in a relationship, sometimes a situation is severely beyond repair. Suppose a team member has crossed certain boundaries. In that case, the right course of action — for the integrity of your leadership and the health of your team — might be to trigger an immediate investigation or consider dismissal. This unfortunate situation can also develop when the behavior is less severe, but your trust-building efforts haven’t led to improvement. In these cases, consulting with HR and considering parting ways may also be warranted.

Trust is a fundamental aspect of a healthy-employee relationship. Without it, the leader, the employee, and the broader team suffer. Create a plan based on the steps outlined above, give it time, and know that trust can be rebuilt in most cases, leading to a happier, more productive workplace for all.

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