What to do when things don't go to plan....

I hope your week is off to a good start. 

This weekend I had two talks in Clare and Galway for BEO Wellness. 

I really enjoy the BEO events.

It's a full day with a variety of speakers and I typically start the day with a 45 talk on goal setting and the stories we tell ourselves.

I'm generally not too attached to the result of my talks.

I do my best, and if it go's great I don't let it go to my head.

Equally if it doesn't go great I don't let it go to my heart. Instead I try to just look to it as a chance to get better. 

Saturday, was different....

I did my 45 minute piece and got the usual feedback from attendees and the other speakers who said they really enjoyed it. 

But I didn't feel good....

I thought I'd delivered a sub par performance and I got really down on myself. I did my best to change my attention, my focus and the story I was telling myself but it took me a few hours to get out of my own way. 

An early lesson in 2020 and toward the end of 2019 has been this- its very hard to be solutions orientated or to change to a positive focus when we're tired or lacking in energy. 

I hadn't slept well the night before and I put that down to why I wasn't feeling too great Saturday. 

For that reason it's important that we remember to be gentle with ourselves when we're feeling tired, stressed or out of energy....

Once I'd caught up on some sleep and given myself a bit of a break before going back on stage the next day I did an exercise that I always do when things don't go quiet to plan. 

I wanted to share it with you as it might be useful. 

The exercise which I've learnt from a few coaches and courses I've been through consists of 4 simple questions and is about shifting your attention from a 'loss' to a 'learning'....

The questions are-

1. What happened?

2. Why is that positive?

3. What is the lesson?

4. How do I apply that lesson as soon as possible? 

In this example....

1. What happened? I got caught in my head and beat myself up for delivering a talk I didn't think was up to the standard I want to maintain. 

2. Why is it positive? Upon reflection I've seen that the lack of sleep the night before effected my energy and I ended up believing my negative thoughts rather than questioning them. 

3. What is the lesson? In order to maintain a positive focus and handle stressful thoughts energy and sleep is really important. In the times when I don't sleep well or am tired I've got to remember to be gentle- 'this too shall pass'. 

4. How do I apply that lesson as soon as possible? Look to improve my nighttime routine to improve sleep and brainstorm other ways of improving energy in the lead up to talks. 

^^^ This exercise works really well. It's simple but effective. 

As MMA coach John Kavanagh says 'We win or we learn'. 

There are opportunities to learn lessons every time we 'fail' or things don't go to plan, but we've got to seek out the lessons. 

I hope this is helpful!

Have a great week,

Pat