What to do when my parents are aging.
When surveying my 78-year-old mother and other friends her age, they report that they would rather live independently, if they could choose, followed by living with an adult child, and lastly, living in assisted living. " While 76% of Americans aged 50 and older say they prefer to remain in their current residence and 77% would like to live in their community as long as possible, just 59% anticipate they will be able to stay in their community, either in their current home (46%) or a different home still within their community (13%) (Binette, 2019)."?
Independent living advantages
Remaining in the current home will enable older adults to be as independent as possible. As the poll above reports, most older people want to stay in their homes. It will reduce stress and raise well-being. They can keep their friends and community connections, essential to one's happiness.??
Independent living disadvantages
One disadvantage of living independently is the risk of getting injured and having no one to help. Janike and Traphagen (2009) detail a story where there was a snowstorm in rural northwestern Japan, and elderly in their seventies and eighties who lived independently tried to get snow off of the roof or clear piles of snow from their yards, and many died of trying to help themselves. Many of them fell to their deaths or were severely injured. My mother recently suffered a heart attack in her backyard at night and could barely make it into her home to call 911.
Assisted living advantages.
The advantage of living in assisted living is that the facilities are built for an easier time of daily care of adults with trained staff to meet their needs. Being with others who share the same aging stage may help psychologically. There may also be more activities for adults to partake in.?
Assisted living disadvantages.
One is cost, but a more important one is that we are moving from a "hands-on, family-centered experience of elder care associated with the idea of "Warm contact" to a more distant, institutional, and teleological approach to caring for old aged (Janike & Traphagen, 2009)". We are moving away from giving older adults respect and treating them as individuals into treating them as punters.
Living with an adult child advantage
The benefits of having loving family relationships are underestimated. Caring for a parent is a blessing. My mother took care of me when I was unable to care for myself, and it would be a blessing for me to be able to return that honor to her.
As for an advantage to her, she can remain in a home with people they know and not have a stale living environment being taken care of by people who could or could not have bad intentions.?
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?Living with an adult child disadvantage
The disadvantage for the child would be the overwhelming tasks of work, children, and caring for elderly parents. " Becoming an undue burden on family members by outliving and exhausting the social capital accrued through reciprocal intergenerational relationships over the life course breaches the intergenerational contract (Janike & Traphagen, 2009)".
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References?
Binette, J. (2019, July 31) 2018 Home and Community Preferences: A National Survey of Adults Ages 18-Plus, AARP. https://www.aarp.org/pri/topics/livable-communities/2018-home-community-preference/
Janike, B. R., & Traphagen, J. W. (2009). Transforming the cultural scripts for aging and eldercare in Japan Download Transforming the cultural scripts for aging and eldercare in Japan. In J. Sokolovsky, (Ed.), The cultural context of aging: Worldwide perspectives (3rd ed., pp. 240–258). Westport, CT: Praeger.
Chapter 17: Transforming the Cultural Scripts for Aging and Eldercare in Japan
Credit Line: The Cultural Context of Aging: Worldwide Perspectives, 3rd Edition by Janike, B.; Traphagen, J. Copyright 2009 by Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc. Reprinted by permission of Greenwood Publishing Group, Inc. via the Copyright Clearance Center.
Norwood, F. (2013). A window into Dutch life and death: Euthanasia and end-of-life in the public-private space of home. In C. Lynch, & J. Danely, (Eds.), Transitions and transformations: Cultural perspectives on aging and the life course. New York, NY: Berghahn Books.
Chapter 6: A Window into Dutch Life and Death: Euthanasia and End-of-Life in the Public-Private Space of HomeDownload Chapter 6: A Window into Dutch Life and Death: Euthanasia and End-of-Life in the Public-Private Space of Home
Credit Line: Transitions and Transformations: Cultural Perspectives on Aging and the Life Course, by Lynch, C.; Danely, C. (eds). Copyright 2013 by Berghahn Books. Reprinted by permission of Berghahn Books via the Copyright Clearance Center.