What to Do When it Gets Hard and When Adversity, Fear, and Depression Takes Over

Truth is, life has its ups and downs. The problem is, billions of people globally are lacking the tools, the support, and the personal knowledge required to face the times in their lives when the tough gets going, when the voice of our fears, the icy touch of depression, and the hunger for addictive behaviours, patterns, and substances such as drugs alcohol, sugar, and cigarettes take over.

In an ever increasing demand for our time, we are living our lives at an increased pace that is damaging not only our mental, emotional, and physical health, but also our relationships with our loved ones, at work, and in our communities.

Often people who go through any form of adversity tend to hide, withdraw, and isolate themselves from the fear of being judged, not good enough, and not being loved for all they are.

This change in people’s perceived “normal”, “happy”, “ideal” circumstances also changes our behaviours, inner state, and paints our inner being with colours of shame preventing us from seeing the full spectrum of colours available in our true authentic being. Loneliness takes over and if not dealt immediately it can cause permanent damage in our life, pushing us deeper in the caves of the wretched solitude, and chaining our soul in the prison of our own creation.

Just after New Year, I had adversity and opportunity knocking on my door, each showing me their true colours. On one hand, my mother had her fourth stroke which left her lifeless for over a month, needing 24/7 home care, and being told by local doctors that I must make all the arrangements for her funeral.

At the same, on the other hand, life presented me with many opportunities to be of service to many other clients, appear on various local TV and Radio Station, and inspire many young students in the local universities on what's possible when we feed our mind with knowledge, tools, and wisdom.

If this situation happened seven years ago, most likely I would not have seen the opportunities that lead to creating huge impact and success in Macedonia and Kosovo at times when I had to also handle all the effects of being told my mum would not make it. Most likely I would have focused on the fears and the countless emotions that would have surfaced by being told my mum is about to die.

The thing is, what helped me master my emotions, reprogram my subconscious mind, and balance all of the eight key areas of my life is my commitment, investment, and curiosity to learn how to navigate the ocean of wisdom that lives in me. It is on this journey that I learned how to do this with others, how to help people and businesses overcome life adversities, embody confidence, health, and the wisdom so that they can accelerate their human potential.

In the hardest moments of my mum’s stroke, I also found time to be by her side and read excerpts from my latest book #Loneliness. With tears of pain and gratitude, I continued reading to her about my struggles through loneliness, depression, social isolation, and homelessness.

Many people who are connected with me on fb sent their support, love, and healing. Three weeks down the line, against all odds, my mum started to talk, her first words were please forgive me for not being there when you needed me most.

My response...

” Mum you were always in my heart, it is what kept me alive, what forced me to overcome life adversities, and what also helped me achieve global success. All because of you.”

She held my hand, we both cried, and she blessed me by saying..

“You have always been a peace maker, a healer that soothes the balm of a wounded soul, and a son who I am very proud to have given birth to. You are destined for big things, to change people’s lives, and be healthy, wealthy, and wise. It is what your grandfather Akik blessed you with when you were born. You were born on a festive day, he hold you above a table full of food, abundance, and said “May you live to become the greatest healer the world has ever known, may you touch the lives of people from around the world, and may you have a home in people’s hearts in every country of the world.”

Ever since that moment, there have been countless of adversities that threatened my life, but also there have been countless of blessings that changed me forever. On this journey, I met some extraordinary people, teachers, friends, healers, and people from all walks of life who mirrored to me both parts of my personality, the destructive and constructive nature of my true being.

Let me introduce you to my latest award-winning book #Loneliness: The Virus of the Modern Age’ a book that explores the fierce scientific, psychological and spiritual impact of loneliness – a problem that has become an ironic epidemic in a world that is more interconnected than ever before.

I wrote the book to empower readers to redefine themselves and overcome the adversity, anxiety and stagnancy likely blighting their lives.

Enjoyed by all ages, since being published eight months ago, the book received many USA Book Awards including the Finalist Award in the 2016 International Book Contest. It’s also been a hit among critics, too, with one recently writing,

"The worldview developed here transcends science, dogma, and belief, giving readers a new way to reconnect with their truth, hearts, and Divine within”.

If you told me five years ago that I would be interviewed by Brian Tracy for ABC, NBC, CBS and FOX, by Hay House, and many global TV/Radio channels as well as having many articles written about me, I would have never believed you.

What changed? Many things, working with leading experts I started to listen to that inner voice that brought to fruition my life purpose, taught me many things about me, and awakened me to the mountain of value I was sitting on.

I learnt to use every adversity that happened to me from a very young age as a fuel to propel me to being a global success, consult clients from all professions and markets, and to co-partner with clients who have experienced the breakthroughs that I help them create using my ground breaking TJS Evolutionary Method? to create documentaries as a lesson and inspiration for others. As I started to love all the unlovable parts of my being, I awakened in myself and in all of my clients our true healing powers, unravelled our infinite worth, and help others who may be lost find their greatness, light, and their way home. 

I was very humbled when the world-renowned human behaviour expert Dr. John Demartini gave a sterling review for my latest book and calls it “A balm for the restless soul yearning for connection, freedom and love in the desert of emptiness. “

Every book you read, if embodied, it awakens you in profound ways. #Loneliness takes you on an inside out reflective journey, through sharing my personal journey through struggle, I am inviting you, the reader to re-think, re-asses, and re-establish new pathways to turning your adversity into desire, focus and inspiration for a more connected, caring, and meaningful life.

Out of necessity, despair, and from ending up fleeing civil war and living homeless on the streets of London I pulled myself together to make a new life in London and find ways to face all of my fears, crisis, and rejections.

#Loneliness is rich with real life stories that can touch your heart and awaken you to your truth, to the reason of the global segregation we experience worldwide, and offer you the tools and a road map for us as a collective to change world’s trajectory towards a crowd nurtured peace, love, and social-economic growth.

Next time it gets hard for you, remember that you are the creator of your reality and that you are infinite in your abilities to resolve problems. Acknowledge to yourself that problems are the opportunity to awaken your gifts, that illness is your body’s way of communicating to you to change things in your life, and that depression is an unmet expectation that like a virus entered your subconscious and is forcing you to install the latest antivirus software that not only removes it safely but also prevents for any future viruses infecting your inner being.

I trust you will enjoy reading it, use both books A Path to Wisdom and #Loneliness to help you create your own breakthroughs, awaken the various mental faculties that are on “snooze”, and live a balanced, meaningful and purposeful life.

In Living My Illusion, the new coaching documentary to be launched this spring/summer in New York and London which is co-created by Joel, Timea, and myself, executively produced by Elliot and Dean from Ghost Media Productions, my client Joel, a successful business owner talk’s openly about his struggles and how coaching is helping him find his true authentic self as he faces midlife crisis that is impacting, changing, and equally creating and destroying things in all of the eight key areas of his life.

In every awakening moment, you too have the same opportunity to unchain yourself from the chains in the deepest cave of the wretched solitude, climb up the ladder of success, and live healthy, wealthy and with purpose.

Make sure you take action when adversity hits you and don't forget to encourage yourself to think, feel, and believe in your ability to change! Hire a coach, mentor or any other professional that can take you safely from where you are to where you truly desire to be.

Go for it, make it the year you say, "Yey! That's when it all changed, it’s the year I became healthy, wealthy, and successful!"

 Here is to your joy, success and accelerated growth,

 Tony J Selimi

P.S. To overcome personal, professional, business and leadership challenges and advance, accelerate, and activate your human potential, book me as a speaker, appear on your TV show, or consult with me, you can either e-mail my PA Alma at [email protected] or get in touch through my website https://tonyselimi.com