What to Do When Everything Is Gray

The Lausanne area is incredibly vibrant in spring and summer. The fields and vineyards are lush with greens and purples juxtaposed against the stark, jagged mountains and the bright blue sky. I moved here in April, and the colors made me feel invincible and optimistic. I was ready for anything.

Now it’s my first fall here, and I’ve been introduced to the resident cloud that lives above Lake Geneva and drains all recognizable color from the area. It’s made me consider whether the seasons affect how we see the world, how we read the news, how we make sense of what’s happening. In the spring, I see everything through shades of blue—bright blue skies that bring a sense of optimism for what is possible and what we can tackle together.

I wasn’t prepared for the change of season. Everything seems gray—the fields have lost their vibrancy, the vineyards dried up for the season, snow is already settling on mountain tops. I see everything in gray. And with that seemed to come a sense of ennui.

Through this gray-colored lens, I couldn’t tell if things were really as bad as I was feeling they were. Watching the news in gray makes everything feel bleak. Bombings, shootings, a plane crash—they are terrible, tragic things. But I wondered if I was affected differently because of this gray haze? When faced with similar circumstances in a different season, I have been moved to immediate action at both a macro and micro level. I have set up campaigns, donated money or—at the very least—reached out to friends who were part of the marginalized group to connect and make sure they know they are loved. But with this gray overcast, I was first struck with the feeling that maybe it’s just hopeless to try.

We can’t have that attitude. I can’t have that attitude.

Stepping back and seeing this quality in myself made it easier to remember that this isn’t who I am. Calling out this urge helped me push myself to act on my usual impulses—to donate money, to call my friends and to talk about this with my colleagues.

Apathy can be infectious; action is the antidote. That’s why my absentee ballot went out early for the U.S. midterm elections (if you’re voting in person, please get to your polling place on Election Day).