What to Do When a Client Becomes Pushy and Expects More Time Than Agreed
Kirsten Dierolf, ICF MCC, ICF ACTC, EMCC MP, ESIA, ITCA MP
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As coaches, we’re familiar with the delight of seeing clients engage wholeheartedly in their development journey. But occasionally, a client may become overly enthusiastic—pushing for more time, more interaction, and more access than was initially agreed upon. In these situations, it’s important to handle the dynamic with professionalism and empathy while maintaining the boundaries that make coaching sustainable.
Why Boundaries Are Essential in Coaching Boundaries protect the integrity of the coaching relationship, allowing both the coach and client to remain focused and effective. Just as we agree on outcomes and goals, setting clear limits on time and access is part of the professional framework that supports both parties. Without these boundaries, the coaching process risks becoming unbalanced, leaving the coach overwhelmed and the client overly dependent.
How to Recognize When a Client’s Requests Are Exceeding Limits The first indication that a client may be overstepping is often a subtle shift in your own feelings. Perhaps you start feeling drained after sessions or notice a reluctance when you see their name pop up on your calendar. When a client begins reaching out between sessions or pressing for extra time regularly, it’s a signal to reassess the coaching agreement.
Before jumping to conclusions, ask yourself:
Is this a one-off situation? Sometimes a client simply needs additional support temporarily, and a little extra time might be manageable. Is there a pattern? If the client is repeatedly asking for more than agreed upon, it’s time to address it. Is there a reason for the urgency? Maybe they’re facing an especially challenging period or a pivotal moment in their lives. Understanding the context helps in responding appropriately. Strategies for Managing Pushy Clients 1. Revisit the Original Agreement A great first step is to bring the conversation back to your coaching agreement. Remind the client of the established boundaries and the purpose of those boundaries—to ensure effective, balanced coaching for them and other clients alike. You could say, “It sounds like you’re eager to dive deeper, which is wonderful. Let’s revisit our agreement to ensure we’re on the same page about how we can best work together.”
2. Gently Enforce Boundaries with Empathy When a client continues to push, it’s important to be kind yet firm. You might say, “I appreciate your enthusiasm and dedication to this journey, but to maintain the quality of our sessions, we need to stick to our agreed-upon schedule.” Express your willingness to support them within the agreed framework, but make it clear that additional time isn’t an option.
3. Offer Alternative Solutions If a client genuinely needs extra support, you can suggest productive alternatives that won’t overextend your time. Here are some ideas:
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Provide Self-Reflection Exercises: Give them tools to work on outside of sessions, like journaling prompts or guided self-reflection questions, which can help them feel supported without extra time from you. Suggest Online Resources: Point them toward articles, books, or resources that align with their goals, allowing them to explore more deeply on their own. Consider Additional Sessions (for a Fee): If appropriate, offer the option of booking extra sessions at an additional cost. This keeps the coaching within boundaries while acknowledging their commitment. 4. Encourage Client Independence Remember, coaching is ultimately about empowering the client to develop self-reliance. Encourage them to practice the skills they’ve learned in your sessions and trust themselves. Often, an over-reliant client may just need a nudge toward recognizing their own strength.
You could frame it as, “I’m confident you have all the tools we’ve discussed to handle this. I look forward to hearing how you applied them in our next session.”
5. Reflect on Your Own Needs If the pattern of boundary-pushing continues despite your efforts, it’s essential to consider your own capacity. Coaches need to be mindful of burnout, too. Reflecting on your energy levels, workload, and client roster can help you make decisions that serve your longevity in this profession. It may be time to discuss a graceful conclusion to the coaching relationship if the client cannot respect the established framework.
Maintaining the Balance for Long-Term Success Navigating pushy client behavior can be challenging, yet these moments also offer a valuable opportunity to reinforce the professional boundaries that keep coaching effective and sustainable. By addressing the situation promptly and empathetically, you protect the integrity of your coaching practice and create a supportive, respectful space for both yourself and your clients.
In the end, boundaries in coaching are an act of respect—for yourself, for your client, and for the process that brings you together. And just as we help our clients set boundaries in their own lives, we must model this skill ourselves to foster a healthy, balanced coaching journey.
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2 周There’s a fine line between being a coach and a crutch… Might I also suggest taking time to reflect on our coaching? Are we contributing to the situation?
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2 周Such a thoughtful approach to client boundaries—it's crucial for fostering independence.