What Not to Do When Building a Community: Myths That Might Slow You Down

When it comes to building a community, there’s a lot to consider. But here’s the real question: Are you building a crowd or a community? Do you want deep connections, or are you more focused on hitting that next follower milestone? If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by the pressure to “do it all,” you’re not alone. Let’s walk through some common myths and missteps in community building—and how to avoid them—so you can create a space that’s not just bigger, but better.

1. Myth: “The More People, the Better”

Ever heard that the bigger the community, the stronger it is? It’s tempting to think that more people will mean more engagement, but it doesn’t usually work that way. Sometimes a large group can end up feeling impersonal, like trying to make friends at a packed concert.

Instead: Build a foundation with a close-knit group who truly connect with your mission. These early members can create the culture you want to nurture, building a solid base for future growth.

Pro Tip: Start small with people who “get” what you’re building. Their engagement will naturally attract more people who value the same vibe.        

2. Myth: “You Need a Perfect Plan”

Do you feel like you need a foolproof strategy before launching? Or maybe you’ve been holding off, trying to design the “perfect” roadmap. Here’s the thing—community building is about evolution, not perfection. Being too rigid can keep you from adapting to what people really want.

Instead: Begin with a flexible outline and treat it as a journey of discovery. Think of community as something you sculpt over time, where every step forward teaches you something new about what your members need.

3. Myth: “Give People a Platform, and They’ll Take It from There”

Can a chatroom or Facebook group really spark a sense of belonging? The idea that people just need a place to chat is a common misconception. Without direction, even the best platforms can feel like an empty auditorium.

Instead: Infuse your platform with purpose. Set a tone that gives people a reason to engage—whether it’s through shared goals, values, or interests. Members are much more likely to get involved when they see a “why” behind the space.

Quick Tip: Rather than asking, “How’s everyone doing?”, try something like, “What’s one win or challenge from this week?” It’s simple but can spark real conversations.        

4. Myth: “Community is Just Networking”

Is community just a new word for professional connections? Think again. While networking can happen in communities, making it the main focus creates a transactional feel. Real community happens when people connect beyond their job titles.

Instead: Encourage members to show up as themselves. Create spaces where people can share experiences, ask questions, and learn from each other. This leads to authentic connections that often mean more than just another LinkedIn contact.

Insider Insight: Host “Member Spotlights” where each month, someone shares their unique journey or advice. These help members get to know each other on a deeper level.

5. Myth: “Content Will Fuel Everything”

Do you feel like you need to constantly push out content to keep members interested? While content is important, it doesn’t create a community on its own. When members only consume information, they miss the chance to build connections.

Instead: Shift your focus to engagement rather than just content creation. Spark open conversations, ask for opinions, and create opportunities for members to contribute their thoughts.

Engagement Tip: Try a “Community Shoutout” where you recognize members’ milestones or achievements. These small moments of recognition make people feel valued.        

6. Myth: “If It’s Not Growing Fast, It’s Failing”

Does slow growth mean something’s wrong? In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to feel that way. But meaningful communities take time, and rapid growth can dilute the intimacy and engagement that define a successful community.

Instead: Measure progress by the depth of connections rather than the rate of growth. Communities that grow gradually often have members who are more loyal and invested in the long run.

Growth Mindset Tip: Take a step back every so often and ask, “Are we growing together, or are we just getting bigger?” Quality connections over fast expansion will serve you better in the long run.

7. Myth: “You Have to Control Everything”

No one wants a community with a helicopter leader. While moderation is important, overstepping can dampen engagement. As the Zen saying goes, “Let go or be dragged.”

What to Focus On Instead: Set light-touch guidelines and let members take the reins. Give people room to shape the community. You’ll be surprised by the ideas, support, and direction they bring.

Encouragement Tip: Host “Community-Led Days” where members pick discussion topics or lead group activities. It’s a fun way to empower your community and see it evolve from the inside out.        

A Final Note: Let Your Community Shape Its Own Story

Building a community is a bit like curating a garden. With patience, attention, and trust in the process, it will thrive. But remember, it’s a space where everyone’s input matters, where connections are made, and where everyone can feel they belong. As you go forward, remember this quote by Margaret Mead: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”

So, leave behind the myths, and get ready to nurture something that’s as much about you as it is about every single person who joins. Here’s to building a community that doesn’t just exist but flourishes!