What To Do When Adversity Rudely Barges In?

Everything is going great...or at least as well as expected. Your day-to-day routine is just that...fairly routine. Sure there are little bumps in the road but nothing unmanageable. Maybe you've implemented some practical elements of a personal development plan like having a morning ritual, meditating or a gratitude practice which seems to be helping. Maybe you're deep into a workout routine that has integrated into your everyday life and you're getting results.

Things couldn't be better.

And then bam, a setback at work - maybe a project gets delayed and your reputation as always delivering on time takes a hit. Or that sale you'd been forecasting all quarter suddenly slips with four days to go. Not only are you losing out on that commission you needed to cover the big purchase last month but your management is starting to question your approach to your business.

Or it could be a personal setback - you get sick, someone in your close family gets sick. You have major damage to your house or you get into a car accident. Maybe your relationship with your spouse or partner is starting to break down.

The point is that any number of things can go wrong at any time.

And it's not always big, obvious impactful things that get in the way. Often things that seem to be of little significance can become a major setback depending on your perspective at that point in time. I'm talking about traffic jams when you're running late or someone not wiping down a piece of gym equipment you're going to use...that kind of thing. Sometimes that's enough to set you off.

So what's the best way to handle situations like this? Honestly, I'm not sure of the best way but I can tell you that I've gotten better at it over time...and here's how.

Assemble your toolbox ahead of time. If you are susceptible to getting knocked onto your heels when adversity strikes then the time to get prepared is before you find yourself in the thick of it. This isn't something that happens overnight but if you're plugged into the the right channels and the right people delivering the right message you just might pick up on a practical tip that can help you right away. The point is that you have to put in the work before adversity happens in order to gain the ability to manage adversity when it happens.

Recognize that it's happening. I've developed the ability over a loooong period of time to create a tiny little bit of distance between things that happen in my life and how I choose to respond to them (I wrote about it here: Stimulus <--> Response.) I absolutely still have the knee-jerk internal response reaction which is usually defensive and self-oriented. I'm not sure if that will ever go away, but what it enables me to do is recognize that "one of those things" is happening. And once I'm dialed in to what's happening I'm also immediately aware that my brain is in the process of being hijacked so I need to start taking countermeasures.

Adversity is only as impactful as you decide to let it be. That's right, you have all the power when it comes to how much impact the adversity is going to have in your life. For me it started to get easier when I realized that things don't happen to me, they happen because of me. A super simple and massively powerful differentiation. Sure, it's easier to throw a wrench into the auto-response when we're talking about someone cutting the line at Starbucks versus a time when a subordinate at work makes a hostile comment to you in front of others. But the point is that every situation presents an opportunity for you to decide how you are going to let it impact you.

Be humble and practice forgiveness. I can't tell you how strange it is for me to talk about humility and grace as one of the key, foundational aspect of my day-to-day operating system. I am proof that people can change because I was far from humble or forgiving when I was coming up. And I slip from time to time but I've found that the distance between digressions gets longer all the time. It's also a great barometer when I notice my grudginess starts to kick in. That's when something is out of whack with me, not the world. Humility and forgiveness are adversity's kryptonite.

These four suggestions have been working for me and there's nothing stopping you from putting them into practice in your life as well. If you're anything like me you will likely start to see a shift on your mindset when adversity strikes. Over time the cumulative effect will kick in and the countermeasures will start to happen automatically. That's when you know you're the one driving the bus and not the one stuck in the back waiting for someone else to request a stop. And when you're the one driving the bus you get to take it wherever you want to go!

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Matt Weick is an experienced sales professional, novice runner and hack guitar player who is smart enough to know there is still plenty left to learn. Matt started a disk jockey business at 13, accidentally caught a gas station on fire at 16 and sold books door-to-door during college before finally settling into technology sales which continues to be his passion.

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