What do we want most for our children and ourselves?

Dear Happiness & Leadership Community,

When asked what they most want for their children, parents most often respond, “I just want them to be happy.”??When it comes down to it, it's also what we most want for ourselves. Then why is happiness not taught in school? Well, Harvard changed that…In my column this week, we explore how.

For years, my life had consisted almost entirely of two things: (1) serving on start-up leadership teams, then running my own business and (2) caring for my son.??As empty nesting drew near, I feared, given my genetic predisposition, that I would be thrown into despondency, when my only child whom I had raised as a single mom left for college.?

What could I do to prevent this? My son and I listened to Gretchen Rubin’s book,?The Happiness Project?on the drive to Kiawah Island for spring break his senior year in high school (for more, see:?Why Study Happiness? ).??I thought, as a preventive measure, I, too, can go on a happiness journey!?

Harvard continues to teach me - lessons for life

I discovered Harvard’s groundbreaking Positive Psychology 1504, Harvard’s most popular course ever, and ravenously consumed all 22 lectures to learn the science of happiness (for more, see?Top 7 Takeaways: Harvard’s Happiness Course ). I then went on to study positive psychology coaching through an organization founded by the creator of Harvard’s course, Tal Ben-Shahar.

Many years later, I experienced compounded grief after the passing of my parents and other personal and professional losses, and found myself in a dark tunnel. I somehow summoned the energy to log into my virtual 30th Harvard Business School reunion, and heard Arthur Brooks talk about his book, from?Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life.??

Listening to Arthur reminded me of how much I benefited from Tal’s lectures, and I felt a tiny glimmer of hope. I thought, if I just dig myself out of this deep pit, I will restart my studies with Tal and vow that I will help others in this same dark place. This will be my purpose, to help others flourish.

The why behind my weekly column | Happiness & Leadership Community

With hard work and support from many, I came out of the tunnel and was asked by Rick Smith of WRAL TechWire to write a weekly column. I immediately said yes, and chose Happiness & Leadership as my theme. The column launched last year, on February 14 (for more, see:?Why happiness is the key to successful leadership ).??I told my readers, “It would be the best Valentine’s gift if sharing my mental health challenges could help you or someone close to you.”

Experiencing the Harvard Leadership & Happiness Lab

Last year I?interviewed ?Arthur who said that each week he receives calls from universities across the nation asking how to create and teach the course he has done at Harvard and that he would be gathering a group onto campus to share knowledge on just how to do so….?

This year, he invited me to be a part of an inaugural symposium led by his Harvard Leadership & Happiness Lab. Their core belief is that all great leaders should be happiness teachers.??I arrived on campus eager to learn from luminaries including Marty Seligman, the father of positive psychology, and Laurie Santos, whose Happiness course is the most popular course ever at Yale.?

We heard the latest research finding: companies whose employees are more resilient enjoyed 42% higher annual ROA, 3.2% higher YoY revenue growth, and 3.7x higher annual ROE (for more, see:?Happy employees, humble leaders - impact on profitability? )

Studying under Harvard Happiness course creator, Tal Ben-Shahar

I have reengaged in deep studying under Tal - what a gift!??Last year, at a retreat that Tal led in Akumal, Mexico, the birthplace of positive psychology, I share why I now teach workshops entitled, HappinessWorks (see?video ).

I will be traveling to Cartagena, Colombia this winter where Tal will award me with a diploma for completing his academy’s certificate coursework.??Each week for the last eighteen months, I have spent time with him and fellow journeyers around the world to study positive psychology research, discuss concepts, and gain input to inform delivery of the most meaningful content to my readers and clients.

Happiness Schools

One topic Tal has passion for is the creation of happiness schools.??It should not just be Harvard, Yale, and MIT that teach happiness. Instead, the subject should go mainstream. When they started to teach the course to undergrads, Harvard and Yale had to move the class to the largest facility on campus to house the hundreds of students who signed up.??At Harvard Business School, Arthur had to quickly move from one session to two with hundreds remaining on his wait list.??A few sleuthfully record his lectures so that less fortunate classmates stuck on the waitlist can partake.?

Happiness in Nature?

What about happiness in nature??Shinrin-yoku?emerged as a term in Japan in the 1980s as??physiological and psychological exercises, or forest bathing,?as a solution to tech-book burnout. The Japanese embraced this form of ecotherapy, in turn reconnecting with and protecting the country’s forests. Researchers in the 1990s gathered scientific research to support forest bathing, proving what many cultures have long known, the importance of the natural world to human health.

At the start of this year, our former State Treasurer, Janet Cowell, now CEO of Dix Park Conservancy, invited me to visit her to brainstorm on ways they could include the study of happiness as they re-interpret Dix Park, which once housed our state’s first mental health facility.?She shared with me today that Dix will be offering forest bathing classes this fall!

I am deeply interested in the progress she makes in preserving the rich and complex history and reimagining a positive future in creating a 300+ acre world-class park, a transformative public space for community, wellness, play, celebration and resilience that will enrich the quality of lives for those in North Carolina.

Happiness works, but it takes ongoing work. Let’s take the first steps together!

I realize my purpose is to help people flourish.??Getting feedback from a participant that a HappinessWorks workshop or talk I deliver??is “life changing” or “rocked my world” makes me happy.??As Laurie Santos, Yale psychology professor?threw out to us at Arthur’s symposium, instead of saying we teach “happiness”, we should say we teach “human performance.” In looking her up at Yale, I see that her record breaking course wasn’t entitled “happiness,” instead it was?Psychology and the Good Life.?And isn’t the “good life” what we all desire for ourselves and our children?

I work with companies, universities, and organizations who want their people to have the highest levels of human performance.??These enlightened entities know that by working together to be happier, they all will be more successful.

What can you do this week to be a happiness teacher and positively impact the performance of your team?

Share with us!

About Grace Ueng

Grace is a strategy consultant and leadership coach with?Savvy Growth .?

Join ?her Happiness and Leadership community for science and stories on how to be happier. Her "why" stated in her launch column last year:

While I embarked on this study for purely personal reasons, I soon realized this intense study of happiness could also benefit my coaching clients. Fast forward six years after losing my father, my mother, and then moving from my home of 25 years where I had raised my son … I struggled this past year through a severe depressive episode, the most difficult months of my entire life. I only shared my suffering with a few people.?Mental illness still holds a stigma in our society. I hope to help change that.?Mental wellness is just as important as good physical health. Why corporations are now investing in mental health resources as a strategic priority. They know it just makes business sense....