What do we really know?

Namely nothing at all. 

For some days, directly after Christmas, I have been following dramatic images in my home country, Croatia. 

It was hit by an earthquake.

I feel two strong emotions alternately these days: powerlessness and gratitude.

Powerlessness is next to fear, the most negative emotion a person can feel. 

And gratitude, next to love, is one of the most positive emotions a person can feel.

At the same time, one can only feel one of these diametrically opposed emotions.

I consciously practice to feel more gratitude instead of powerlessness. It is my conscious choice.

***

I was talking on the phone with my best friend in Zagreb on this day, just after noon.

It was a happy chat after Christmas, when suddenly at 12:19, the earthquake began.  

Within 20 seconds of the earthquake, my feeling of joy turned into that of absolute powerlessness and fear.

Suddenly I heard my friend shouting loudly to her son that he should hide under the door frame immediately and to herself that the two of them must get out immediately. It shook so violently that I could hear it even through the telephone receiver. Thundering noise, fast steps, fear in the voices and suddenly... the silence.

The connection was dead.

I was just walking my dog in the forest, somewhere in the middle of Germany. 

It was a short absurd scene.

I stood for a few seconds, maybe it was minutes, in a kind of paralysis of shock. Stunned in the forest, in this peaceful nature, feeling extremely powerless, at the lowest point of the emotional scale.

I was a witness of the moment where in a few seconds the life of many croats living in Zagreb changed dramatically. 

And I could do nothing. 

How often do you experience something like that in your life and what do you do?

The worst thing you can do is let those emotions take over your body. Fear, powerlessness, emptiness.

And from my experience, as a mental coach, I know that this emotional momentum is short-lived. Our suffering afterwards is a choice. Mostly unconscious and fed our further thoughts.

I immediately consciously looked up into the sky, between the bare tree tops and was thankful. I took one deep breath, in and out. I thanked myself for the peace I am in right now. I closed my eyes and imagined my friend and all the people I know standing in front of the house, smiling. All are well. Everything is going to be fine. 

I consciously imagined, visualized clear images, that everyone is alive and well. I saw everyone laughing.

I didn't immediately feel good but I was no longer powerless. My inner thoughts were not as horrible as before. 

A short time later I saw the short message on my display, "We are fine, standing outside, still very scared but everyone is okay." At that moment, the deep gratitude, from head to toe, filled me.  

The emotion of gratitude was so strong and I did the same thing again, looked up at the sky, took a deep breath in and out and said loud thank you.

I thanked them for being well and also for my own secure feeling here in Germany that I don't have to experience this. 

On the same day I spoke with my family and friends. I am still overwhelmed by the solidarity, humanity and help that was activated from other regions in Croatia and the world to help the people in the severely affected area. 

****

Today, when I was walking in the forest again, I was consciously thinking about what had happened. About the situations in life, about the power of emotions and our reactions to these situations.

No matter if it is the elementary catastrophe, accident, death, war or the everyday situations like a wrong sentence, unfulfilled expectations, bad grade, disappointments or burst appointments. 

The power and responsibility whether we feel good or bad about it, and what we make out of the situation always and only lies with ourselves.

I became aware again how much power each of us has and how important it is to become aware of it. Because only then we can control it for ourselves.

And how often we run through a situation that has either not yet happened or is already behind us but still exists in our head over and over again. 

Therefore we spend most of our time somewhere else in our head. 

It is especially tragic when we are physically in a safe place, with steady income and surrounded by the people who love and value us and then we are still dissatisfied. Because we are living in our comfort zone.

We are physically maybe in paradise but mentally in a self-made hell.

And even more I realize that every day is a gift and we ourselves are responsible for how we feel and what we do with our lives.

I would like to pass on two messages from my freshly gained experience:

1. When we feel powerless, fearful, angry, insecure, worthless, worried, disappointed, overwhelmed, impatient or bored, we should immediately realize that this is just an emotion that lasts 90 seconds at most and we can change it.

Everything that lasts beyond these 90 emotional seconds is the suffering that we ourselves, consciously or unconsciously, have chosen. 

Who do we harm in the process? Ourself.

2. Worrying is absolutely useless. Worries are the thoughts about the future that we do not wish for. So get rid of them! 

Instead of worrying, choose peace. Train to feel peace and send peace as energy.

Everything else makes no sense.

Everything else is of no use to anyone. Not me and not the others. 

And this is the right focus.

For all shocking situations in life that we cannot influence, it is important to understand that we cannot change the situation, but we can change our feeling and our reaction.

We have the choice. We carry the power within us.

Everything in life is temporary. If we have a good run then we should gratefully enjoy it because it probably won't last forever. 

If something bad happens then we should not worry too much either because this will not last forever either....

All we have is the moment in life, a moment in which we are right now. 

Everything else past and the future take place only in our head.

#digitalesurrealism