What do we really control?

We tend to think if we can control enough items in our life, we are safe. This creates an addictive cycle to control as much as possible. By staying in the lanes we can control, we limit our perceptions which suffocates growth.

Perhaps what robs us from what God desires most is our inability to surrender control as that is counterintuitive yet can provide tremendous peace and growth.??

Safety and Pride

Proverbs 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.

Whether you are new to leadership or have been serving others for decades, a valuable exercise is to take the time to ponder what you actually control in your career. It can be a scary thought and the results may surprise you.?????

Upon completing that experiment for myself, I began to consider that I want to control my environment because that brings a sense of safety to my life, because at the core of our being we all have a desire to feel safe. Reflecting on that further I had the thought that this could be a limiting mindset and that perhaps, my idea of safety and control were limiting my perception of different possibilities because of my own unwillingness to get uncomfortable.??

One of the main reasons I, and perhaps others as well, struggled with relinquishing control boils down to pride. Proverbs gives us a clear warning of the dangers of pride in our lives and at the end of the day this is the limiting factor that contributes to many leaders' demise. Pride manifests itself with thoughts of “I got this” and “we’ve always done it this way”.??

Those phrases can be red flags for the Christian leader and when pride is extracted from our life several new strengths are developed such as perception and experience. In this light, our desire to control outcomes to operate in a margin of safety actually prohibits us from experiencing what God could have planned because of disobedience to follow His will. Time to get used to getting uncomfortable.?

Temptation and Addiction

1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

If we really think about why it is tempting for each of us to want control, then we have to admit that control serves two masters, neither of which is God. One is the need to create a safe environment to make decisions in and the other, potentially more dangerous, is to serve our ego needs as the determiner of the environment for decision making. This can lead to an addictive cycle of creating an ego centered dopamine hit that can only be matched by a dopamine hit that comes from even greater control. Picture the new leader that is now in a position of authority.? Oftentimes, without the proper training or mentorship this can be a dangerous combination.

One of the old TV shows that I enjoy the most is Andy Griffith. In one episode Andy left his reliable deputy Barney in charge of the town while he was away on a trip. During that short time Barney arrested each member of the town and the jail cells were full. When he acquired the power he desired the abuse began immediately.?

The temptation to desire control is truly a tool of the evil one. 1 Corinthians 10:13 shows us that when we are tempted by the incessant controlling dopamine hits that we can become addictive to God does not ever give us a challenge that He also does not give us the strength and skill to endure and escape it.??

No one wakes up and determines today is the day I will begin a cycle of addiction and surrender to the temptations around me which is why many people wake up surprised that they have found themselves striving for greater influence and control.?

When this happens, turn over the temptation and desire to control more and more to Him and by doing that watch as you are filled with peace that passes all understanding as you act in obedience to what He has called you to do.?

Knowledge and Grace

2 Peter 3:18 But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and forever! Amen.

Even though we are Believers and love God with all our hearts, we’re still doubting Him enough that we feel the need to control outcomes. By understanding that control is a bottleneck on the love for God and all that He created, we limit our relationship with Him and the ability to fulfill His mission for us and live more full and satisfying lives.?

In 2 Peter we see that we put the effort far too often in the wrong space - we put effort into controlling outcomes and not reflecting and growing through grace and knowledge of Jesus. Once we realize that we are not in control, it seems prudent to lock in on what God desires most for us individually.? How do you do that?? It starts with prioritizing your relationship with Him above everything else. Talk to Him in prayer, serve others with a genuine heart, read His Word and view each day as an opportunity to do whatever He calls you to.

Taking a step back it seems that as leaders there is very little in what we actually control and we should see that as a good thing.? In fact, following Jesus involves releasing control which is uncomfortable and also creates opportunities for new perceptions and sticking with others during the difficulties.? That appears to be a great formula way to grow and ultimately serve others.?

Here's to grabbing a hold of the reins, setting out on an adventure and creating opportunities for new perceptions that will lead to something far greater than control...growth!??

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