What do we do about Andrew Tate? And is he the symptom or the cause.

Over the past couple of weeks I've shared some posts with my views on Andrew Tate, how we talk to our children about him and whether he is the cause or symptom of a bigger problem. You can read the original post (and the responses) here.

The response to those posts was big with people sharing their own views, thoughts and personal experiences. The majority of people agreed with the sentiments of the posts but there were also a significant amount of people (all men btw) who back Andrew Tate and believe he is not misogynistic and has been wrongfully arrested.

This is a very real problem that isn't going away anytime soon and requires intervention from everybody.

So I have taken those posts, added some more thoughts and written this article on the same topic.

Please feel free to share with friends and colleagues and, as always, let me know your thoughts.

What do we do about Andrew Tate?

I've had a few conversations with some young children (9 and 10 year olds) recently who have told me they support Andrew Tate and what he stands for.

They talk about how much money he has, how many cars he has and how, in their mind, that means that he is successful and everyone that doesn't like him is just a hater.

They asked me what car I drive and how much money I make. The cheek!

More shocking is how they have agreed with his views that men are superior to women and that to be a real man is all about power and control.

I was shocked having these conversations. Often we see the discourse on social media, but to actually talk to a young child and hear them repeating Andrew Tate's words really makes it all very real, sad and scary.

So what can we do about it?

I think it's firstly about recognising that our children will be consuming this type of content. It's unavoidable to a large extent. Tiktok is powerful and even if they don't have a phone, their friends probably will.

And then it's about having the honest conversation with them. Asking them to explain why they have certain views and whether they think it's really right. Not dismissing them but challenging them on the points they make and helping them to think for themselves and in more depth.

And the most important thing is to lead by example and show them a different type of masculinity. One that doesn't prioritise power and control, one that doesn't worship material things, one that doesn't measure manhood by the price of your car. One that can still be successful when it comes to material things but does it by embracing kindness and empathy and just trying to be good person who thinks about helping others.

We need to show our children an alternative to Andrew Tate and the people like him.

When I was talking to these kids I was shocked but also saddened for them. What kind of future are they going to have, and what future will they create for other people, if this is what they think at just 9 years old?

Is Andrew Tate the symptom, or the cause?

I think it's important to look at the wider context and consider how we came to we live in a world were people like Tate can exist and young people want to listen to him so much.

Ultimately, Tate is the symptom and not the cause.

There's a lot to unpack but I'll try and summarise my thoughts as best as possible:

??we live in an increasingly capitalist society. Even in the cost of living crisis, the sale of luxury goods has increased. Young people feel pressure and sometimes entitlement to have expensive designer clothes and expensive phones. It's now often seen as the norm, not the exception to have these things. Especially in the Western world, their is more focus on individualism and less on community.

??Social media! The phenomenon that is Tiktok is where Tate and others like him live. Short dopemine inducing clips of wealth & toxic views are rife. There's a good question as to how we can limit or control our children's consumption, which can be done to an extent in the house but becomes very difficult to control out of the house and around friendship groups as they grow older.

??Some young boys and young men can feel like the world is against them. They have no hope. Yes, male privilege exists, but when being a boy or man is layered with other protected characteristics or being in a low paid job; a lot of that privilege isn't quite experienced in the same way. Richard Reeves' work, and new book 'Of Boys and Men', does a great job at looking at the current state of young boys in regards to education, employment and relationships.

??Masculinity is going through a massive evolution. Just a few decades ago we had quite definitive gender roles. Masculinity was largely defined by providing, protecting & strength. While elements of this still exist of course, masculinity has broadened. Now, modern men are also required to be empathetic, compassionate & willing and wanting to take on caring responsibilities. Gender roles are becoming more fluid but, for a variety of reasons, not everyone is comfortable, accepting and welcoming of this. Those that are against this new & emerging form of masculinity are looking for a figurehead to congregate around.

So what can we do about this. Well it's a complex problem and I do believe it starts in the home & then we move to create change in our workplaces and communities.

My workshop 'What it means to be a man in 2023' explores this all in more detail (more information at www.elliottrae.com).

It starts with awareness. The more we can learn and be aware of how our world works, the better.

#AndrewTate #Masculinity #Misogyny #GenderEquality #Masculinity #Manhood