What to do to people that Lie. A Cats point of view.

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” 

 – Friedrich Nietzsche

When you do catch someone lying to you like a cat catching a rat. You want to keep the conversation constructive, without letting the liar off the hook, play with them like a cat.

The question always becomes, what do you do with a lie? Do you tell someone else? Or do you just go along to get along?

There are actually several things you can do, and the right one, or the right combination, depends on the situation.

First, make certain you understand the rules. Know the severity of the consequences for lying, and make certain you follow proper protocol for addressing it, have a witness. Liers will continue to lie and a co-worker will more likely confirm what really was said.

Option #1: Do nothing. Nobody likes being lied to. Before you do anything, ask yourself, ‘What’s at stake?’ Weigh the pros and cons . Consider who, if anyone, should know about the lie and the implications it has for the association and residents. The animosity you avoid by staying silent is worth more. What ever you do, act to protect the liability of your association, act behind the scene.

Option #2: Play dumb. Another way to let someone save face—and this is particularly appropriate for group settings—is to play dumb. Pretend you suddenly suffered a memory lapse or are confused about the facts. Ask lots of follow-up questions. The more details you request, the more likely it is that the truth will come out. Drawing it out gives the liar a chance to admit that they “misspoke” and correct themselves without being called a liar. Ask and ask and repeat what they say so that they hear what they are saying and, in some cases stop.

Option #3: Deflect with humor. Some lies are too big to ignore completely, yet too small to make a big deal out of. Make a joke of it. Ask them to repeat what they said and look at them directly. Laugh and repeat what was said. This strategy gives the liar a chance to hear what they just said. The key to making this tactic work is to give the impression that the other person was kidding around or exaggerating and never expected to be believed.

Option #4: Call them on it. Doing nothing isn’t a good option. Bash them for attempting to manipulate the situation with a lie. You may never have a conversation with the liar in private NEVER. Have it with others. Just make certain you are honest and direct with the person who lied. There has to be an understanding, your office, your association has no room for BS.

Some people tell infrequent lies to make themselves look good or to protect themselves. Others are pros. They’ve been doing it their whole careers, they’re good at it, and they’ve learned how to avoid getting caught. Make your office a danger zone for them and you will start to identify the lies. Well at lease 60% of them.