What do listening, comedy and sex have in common?

Recently, I had the opportunity to pose this question during a workshop at SXSW Sydney .

I was worried about who would attend because in the room next door, Nicole Kidman and Per Saari were discussing Blossom Films.

As people arrived for the session, I greeted as many people as possible before the start and asked them what they thought listening and comedy had in common.

The best response was from a female workshop participant who said

That's easy Oscar - it's the pause - you can hear so much when you wait - whether speaking or in comedy.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, as she held her pause

"and my sex life is currently on it's longest pause."

We laughed and connected in an instant, a delightfully unexpected response.

As the workshop started, the participants were invited to vote on their perspectives.

Listening is more like

The workshop was full of energy and unique insights from the participants.

Some of my favourite, reflections from the participants included

• Responding and going where it takes you, instead of being rigid / sticking to a "script"
• Meaning is interpreted uniquely.
• You'll only enjoy it if you're paying attention
• They're both creative in how they're delivered, unique to the speaker
• Timing and understanding your audience
• A skill that can be learnt
• A comedian must listen to the audience to ensure their delivery and tempo are right.
• If you're not paying attention, you're open to being heckled!
• It's easy to listen if it's entertaining
• It's all down to your interpretation of what's being said

Leave a comment below; what do you think listening, comedy, and sex have in common?

Thanks to Katrina Fox for documenting her reflections and Marcus Naoum for his observations , along with the team at The Strategy Group .

Hat tip to Luke Mathers for the book review of how to listen - discover the hidden key to better communication - the most comprehensive book about listening in the workplace. This is the title of the book review.

listening is like sex, driving and sense of humour, we all think we are good at it.

Luke was generous to expand his review a little further. "Oscar Trimboli helped me see the gaps in my listening habits. He uses great stories and easy-to-follow science that is woven together to help you listen and connect better with people. This is a must-read for any leader."

Hat tip to Matt Abrahams and his podcast from 2021, during his discussion with Tina Seelig where they explored a fantastic question about questions.

You need to question the questions that you ask, because those questions determine the frame into which answers will fall

Thanks to Luke and his question, it got me thinking about listening in a different and impactful way.

Big thanks to Fenella Kernebone , Caris Bizzaca and the inspirational Hugh Forrest , who took the time to explain how SXSW listens for the Deep Listening podcast https://www.oscartrimboli.com/podcast/046/