"What do I do when...?"

One of my absolute favorite things to do professionally is training aspiring advocates.

For me, there is no replacement for stretching the relationship building muscles and helping folks understand just how natural it can be to stand up for their cause. The trainings I do almost always center on the importance of practical application because that's precisely the hurdle we have to overcome most often: making it all feel natural.

I started approaching the problem this way because I was witnessing divergent trends while I was a congressional staffer. Either advocates were coming in over-prepared and over scripted, unable to deviate from their prepared talking points. Or, just as frequently, coming in under-prepared and unable to effectively share their own stories.

It was clear to me that we have a major gap when it comes to how advocacy organizations engage their volunteer advocates to step up to the proverbial plate.

Now that I've begun providing these trainings I'm watching for new and emerging trends. I'm constantly evaluating the questions I receive in those live sessions and trying to figure out just what's most important to the very real people in the seats - because understanding those trends is a key component of crafting a training that helps them find the sweet spot between preparation and natural delivery. If I can meet them where they are, with the questions they have, maybe I can make it all seem just a little less daunting.

Over the course of 2023, I periodically want to bring some of those questions to you. I want to share with you some of the exchanges these trainings provide, and offer up the answers I give those real life advocates to you as well.

What I've found is that, in session after session, the questions I'm answering are at such a universal level, that there must be value here for loads of people. For instance, here's a version of one I hear all the time:

"What do I do when the Congressman asks me questions about something I don't want to talk about?

This is a very real possibility in just about any advocacy scenario.

Despite our best planning, practice, and scripting we have to remember that advocacy isn't a staged performance. It's a conversation. Conversations require dialogue between players. Those other players always get some level of say in how the conversation goes.

In my own meetings (both as a staffer and now as a lobbyist) I've been on both sides of this experience. As a staffer, I've been able to direct conversations away from contentious issues. As a lobbyist, I've dealt with elected officials and their staffs who succumb to tangential thoughts and - often unknowingly - cut away from the main point of the meeting at hand.

So what do you do when that happens?

A lot of advocates fall into the trap of deference. Because we don't want to offend a target audience (understandably), we allow these tangents to take hold and derail the conversation. And this happens all. the. time.

In this case, the simplest answer is the best; politely redirect. Like Don Draper said in Mad Men: "if you don't like what is being said, then change the conversation."

As tempting as it can be to join the target on a partisan diatribe, as enjoyable as it can be to listen to their homespun anecdotes, at the end of the day success in your meeting is judged by whether or not you delivered a clear, relevant, and measurable ask. You can't do that when they control the tone and tempo of the conversation.

How do you do it? Practice.

I spend a lot of time in my trainings putting advocates into scenario based training where I employ this tactic in particular. When they first try to tackle a mock meeting, they're often unfamiliar with how to plan for the meeting as a group. They don't know their assignments, and instead everyone prepares to deliver on every aspect of a meeting. When we break the meeting down into segments, and help the team learn to specialize, then we help their team learn how to react and redirect in these moments.

But it's a perishable skill.

If you want to be at your best, you have to put in the reps. It's easier for lobbyists because we do just that. We're regularly in these conversations. We get used to the ebb and flow and we learn the nuances of our targets. If you want to get to that level, you have to be prepared to get into some uncomfortable practice so you can get those reps yourself.

The more you do, the less effort it will take to put it into practice. And even in moments when you're getting frustrated, you'll be more likely to handle it in the right way.

p.s. I'd love to know your "what do I do when..." questions. There's nothing off limits here - and you'll always get my straightforward take. If you have one in mind, send it my way! Either drop a comment below or, hit me up on social or [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you!?