What do I do when an essential employee wants to resign?

By Felicia Hou

In Brief: (1) When an employee expresses their desire to resign, it may be a sign that management has done too little to make their company a desirable workplace. (2) If your employee is willing to have a conversation with you, focus on how you and your organization can do more to support their broader goals. (3) And if their decision is final, consider what changes you can make to retain other valued employees.?

As waves of professionals continue to leave their jobs, more organizations are struggling to stem the tide and retain their most valuable employees. When an employee approaches their manager with the intention of resigning, what can leaders do to hold on to them???

Center the conversation around what you can change

Managers should refrain from asking their employees why they want to leave, because it places the employer on the defensive and may not lead to productive conversation, says Barbara Bruno, CEO of staffing consulting company Good as Gold Training.

Instead, consider questions like: “What steps do we need to take not to lose you?” and “What are the five changes we can make to make your job more enjoyable?”?

Keep in mind: While a sizable counter-offer may be able to sway your employee’s mind temporarily, many end up leaving after a few short months anyway because of a lack of change, Bruno says.?

• It’s not all about the money: “Most people quit their boss, not their company,” says?Bruno. A toxic boss or team can drive employees away. Sometimes, a change in supervisor or department, rather than a raise or promotion, is what an employee truly cares about.
• Offer opportunities for career advancement: Many employees leave their positions because they feel there’s no more room for growth. As a manager, take note of new positions that your employee would be a good fit for or projects that might highlight their unique skills. Initiate a conversation dedicated to their career goals, where they want to be in the future and how you can help them get there.?
• Remind them why they joined in the first place: When employees are feeling dispirited about their position, it may help to ask them why they joined the company in the first place, says Jan Rutherford, founder of leadership coaching company Self Reliant Leadership. Consider questions like, “Why did you join this company, and do the things that appealed to you initially still exist here?” Returning to core values and reminding your employee that your company is still the same one they were once excited to work for may encourage them to stay.?

Accept that it may be too late?

A good manager should not be surprised when an employee says they are considering resigning. Expressing a desire to leave a job is not often a spur-of-the-moment decision. Many senior executives, however, struggle to understand the reasons behind employee departures. Many believe their workers are looking for higher compensation and better work-life balance, but employees often leave because they struggle to find a sense of purpose and belonging at their organization. For managers who are unaware of their employees’ needs, it is often too late to narrow that gap.?

“Rather than spring into action at the moment someone thinks about leaving, it’s critical to proactively create an environment where people are happy to be,” says Liz Ryan, founder and CEO of career consulting firm Human Workplace.?

Look for a replacement, but also assess and reflect

If your employee chooses to leave the company, you may feel compelled to jump into recruitment mode. While finding a replacement for a high-priority position may be top of mind, try not to neglect your current roster of valued employees you wish to retain.?

• Don’t rely on the exit interview: Employees rarely give 100% honest feedback during an exit interview. In many cases, they are looking to part on good terms to avoid any final conflicts with the company or to secure a positive reference for future jobs.?
• Be there for the remaining team: After an essential employee resigns, evaluate who you consider to be the top 10 to 20 percent of your team, suggests Dorie Clark, a strategy consultant and business professor for Duke University and Columbia University. Then have conversations with those team members so you can understand what they like (and dislike) about their roles, offer support and emphasize how much you respect their work.??
• Focus on relationships: Employees often resign because they feel undervalued and unappreciated at work. “Managers have subordinates. Leaders let their people grow,” says Bruno. Whether that means taking a leadership development course or rethinking your management style, all managers should strive towards becoming leaders that their teams enjoy working under and feel comfortable around.?
• Create channels for communication: Quarterly “stay interviews” are a great way to gauge how your current employees are feeling. Ask them why they have decided to stay at your company and whether they have other talents they’d like to flex. Such meetings can give you an opening to show how much you appreciate their work. “There has to be a willingness to talk about sticky subjects,” says Ryan. “If you don’t talk about it, your competitors for talent will.”

Explore more

• “5 Ways to Stop a Valued Employee from Quitting” by Kylie Ora Lobell for the Society for Human Resource Management
• “What to Do When All Your Employees Want to Leave” by Dorie Clark for The Wall Street Journal
• “‘Great Attrition’ or ‘Great Attraction’? The choice is yours” by Aaron De Smet, Bonnie Dowling, Marino Mugayar-Baldocchi and Bill Schaninger for McKinsey & Company
• “With So Many People Quitting, Don’t Overlook Those Who Stay” by Debbie Cohen and Kate Roeske-Zummer for Harvard Business Review
• “Reducing Employee Turnover,” a LinkedIn Learning course by Andra Vaduva

Meet the experts

Barbara Bruno is the CEO of staffing consulting company Good as Gold Training. Bruno holds over 25 years of experience in sales and recruiting and has trained over 1 million students on LinkedIn Learning.?

Jan Rutherford is the founder of leadership coaching company Self Reliant Leadership. Rutherford holds an MBA from the University of Phoenix and has taught courses for LinkedIn Learning for over 5 years. He is also a senior instructor at the University of Colorado Denver Business School.?

Liz Ryan has been the founder and CEO of career consulting firm Human Workplace for over 10 years. Ryan has been a career columnist since 2012 and has written for Bloomberg Businessweek, The Denver Post and Forbes. She holds over 20 years of HR experience.

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