WHAT DO I WANT IN LIFE? Will I ever know the answer to this question?

The Start Point

The headline of this article may feel borderline pessimism, but let's be rest assured that the intention is to be reflective and find pathways, rather than drag down the spirits! Have you ever asked yourself, "What do I want in life?" and then stared into oblivion for the next few minutes? The waves of life in the form of priorities, chores, and pressures often wash this question away. Yet, there comes another day when you pause with the same question.

While many people are as clear as the Dawki river waters about their desires, can we ask a different and better question? What has more weight for you when you ask this life-inspiring question? The "What" or the "I"? It’s akin to the age-old debate of which came first, the chicken or the egg—complex and continuous. (Which we will visit in my next article)

When we don’t find the answer, initially we may brush it off as an irrelevant thought, but such is the beaut called self-awareness that knocks back again and what was once irrelevant then either moves towards the direction of confusion, frustration, discomfort etc or into the road of clarity, peace and holistic satisfaction.

The Opportunity to Make a Subtle Shift

In my humble opinion, the "what" reveals itself if you ask a different question. The “what” often translates to tangible things—like a vacation, traveling the world, owning a plush house, or inspiring others. Yet, this list is ever-shifting as soon as you achieve one desire.

When the focus is on the “I,” it becomes all about me, subconsciously narrowing my view and expanding my blindside. Imagine driving a car where your main view is as small as the rear-view mirror, and the blindside as big as the windshield. Relationships, connections, and the universe we consume from and contribute to become overlooked.

So, what if the better question is, “How do I want to be?” or “How do I want to live?” The "how" usually has a longer, more nuanced answer than the "what," giving space for self-awareness to play an active role. This approach focuses on ways to act within one’s framework, irrespective of resources. For instance, wanting to stay happy and calm helps manage the challenging fireballs life throws our way.

The "how" also influences the "I" because when the "I" is in action, it engages with the universe. This "I" is kind, compassionate, and expressive, creating a fusion with the universe rather than being restricted.

Focus on the Being

At a practical level, I aim to be humble, authentic, self-aware, and grateful. While I may not always hit the mark, these qualities manifest whether I'm at work, with friends, family, or even strangers. It’s about being in this space consistently, and eventually, the "what" will reveal itself when one is ready. Though I'm still exploring how I want to be, the relevance of the "what" seems to be fading away. The humility to accept that I’m a WIP brings the much needed comfort to stay focused on the “How I want to be/live?”

I may never know exactly what I want in life, but I’m okay with that. I can definitely work on how I want to be, and that’s what the world will remember me for. So, how do you want to be?