What Do I Say? How Do I Say It?

I am compelled to use social media to reach out to my connections and share my thoughts about the events over the past week. As a physician, it was especially disturbing watching George Floyd die on national TV while officers seemed to demonstrate a complete lack of remorse. At the end of the day, many people are simply wondering, “What Do I Say? And How Do I Say It?” I suggest starting with friends, family and those you have gratitude for.

As an African American male who has experienced racism at the hands of police, I have experienced overwhelmingly more blessings from my White Brothers and Sisters over the years. This is my opinion as one Black man and there are certainly other Black voices that should be heard. I wanted to give some suggestions on what you can say and how to do it during this critical time in our history. Below are actual examples of what I have said, how I have said it, as well as examples of what has been said to me. All of these experiences have facilitated the opportunity to have a much longer needed conversations with someone important to me.

 TELL SOMEONE CLOSE TO YOU THAT YOU CARE

 I received an unexpected call from a friend and former Boss. He said, “Hey man, how are you?” It had been a few months since we talked. I was a little surprised, but excited to hear his voice…and then it came: “Herman, I just called to tell you I love you man”. It was then that I told Trip I loved him too and I appreciated his leadership and friendship over the years. Needless to say, that call made my day. We spent the next 20 minutes talking about George Floyd’s death and how we were both being impacted by the events over the past week. But most importantly, it gave us a chance to reaffirm a bond between two people, who had very different backgrounds and different ethnicities. It was a beautiful moment and I could feel my eyes well up with tears.

I called my old Boss on his mobile phone. No answer, but I figured he would be in a meeting and couldn’t answer. So I texted him my message. Here is an excerpt from my text to help you with ideas on what to say and how to do it:

“I was just thinking of you and what our friendship means to me. I wanted to thank you for the motivation and inspiration you provided me when I was on your team. You treated me fairly and made me feel so important to your mission and your dream…”

My former Boss called me the next day and told me how important that message meant to him. We talked about the events of the past week and how they impacted us personally. It gave us a chance to start a dialogue, to get that pain out in words and have it reaffirmed by another human being.

 I then reached out to an important figure in my life; The man who decided to perform CPR two years ago in the Nashville airport. It was too late to call, but after watching protests on TV all day, I had to write down my feelings. I told him that many people on TV that day had posed the same question to their African American guests…”After 400 years of bondage, slavery and oppression, what makes you think anything will ever change?”. I wanted to tell Bill that I loved him for his ultimate act of generosity and kindness. For making the decision to perform CPR and try to make a difference in the world for another HUMAN BEING. I told him that his act of a White man saving the life of a Black man, without thinking of skin color is what gives me hope that there can be change in this country. I thanked him for that “gift”.

WRITE A LETTER TO YOUR EMPLOYEES/HOLD EMPLOYEE FORUMS

There are many organizations that have thoughtful CEOs who have communicated to employees about their beliefs and how these events have impacted them. I am fortunate enough to be a beneficiary of such a letter from the CEO of my company. His letter can be found in my LinkedIN posts. This is a leadership moment and people are looking for guidance and opportunities to speak. To my CEO friends, don’t miss out on the opportunity to lead in this crisis.

HOLD ZOOM CALLS WITH FRIENDS TO START THE CONVERSATION

I have participated in several ZOOM calls designed to get people together to talk and share concerns amongst friends. People want to talk and now is an opportunity for learning from each other’s life experiences.

These are only a few examples of ways to share the love and gratitude we have for each other and create opportunities for the much needed dialogue at this time. Start with someone you trust. Someone who won’t judge and who will listen. Good luck in sharing your voice.