What to Do with Failure

“Discover how to navigate the journey of overcoming failure and embracing personal growth. This inspiring article explores the transformative power of resilience, determination, and the lessons learned from facing challenges head-on. Learn to climb your own mountains and reach new heights of success and fulfillment.”

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Failure, it’s been written about in books, blog posts , and inspirational memes dozens of times. But more than that, it’s been felt by millions a million times over. It’s a horrible feeling. In my experience, especially when I was young, I would run away from whatever it was I failed at faster than a cheetah running after its dinner.

You know, it’s true, all the things they say about failure being the best teacher. In fact, I seldom find a saying that rings truer than this one.

However, all the inspirational quotes in the world don’t tell us how to deal with the feelings of failure, including the fear of trying again and the depressed-like state we can find ourselves in when we don’t get our dream job, for example.

Basically, sayings are one thing, but feelings, they are quite another. So, then, how do we lift ourselves out of the depths of the unachieved and learn to thrive ?

Well. There’s the standard stuff like therapy and exercise to help you work through the overwhelming disappointment in yourself. But there are also other ways. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from failing as many times as I have, it has a lot to do with one’s mindset.

Unlike dealing with a complex mental illness like major depressive disorder , post-traumatic stress disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder, failure is a negative outcome to a desired goal. So, it’s wise to not self-diagnose yourself with depression, let’s say, as it can trap you in a false narrative and become the excuse for not trying again.

If, for example, you experience symptoms of depression for over a period of two weeks several times a year, I recommend getting help from a mental health professional.

Short term though? Especially after failing at something, this fits in the blues, not depression category.

Okay so, what can be done? From the time we are wee little ones, we are taught to follow your dream career. From there, we are sent on a linear path through grade school, high school, and finally, college or university.

The trouble with this trajectory is it does not jive with how life really works. Any number of things can set one off course of that singular dream job and thus ruin their chances of that “dream life.” But can’t it be equally true that you can carve out an amazing life if your course changes? Of course, it does. And this is where learning from your failures comes in.

Being knocked off your intended path could mean you find your true passion? —?something worth getting up for every day.

Mindset? —?it can make or break a person, and that’s both powerful and scary. So powerful that when you read that last sentence, you may have thought, “Yes, it sure is powerful, so powerful in fact that it holds me back.” Or you may have interpreted it like this, “Yes, it’s so powerful that I have used it to pursue a meaningful and purpose-filled life.”

See the difference? Depending on your mindset, it can either sleep you under the current called life or it can send you up atop the next hope and dream. What’s more, your attitude towards it may not be your fault?—?at least not entirely. If it weren’t for this incessant “You can be anything you want to be” idea pounded into our youths’ heads.

Sure, you can work hard to become that one thing you’ve dreamed of, but you must come to learn that life may, in fact, rob you of that opportunity.

If, for instance, you dreamed of playing football as a career and hurt your knee, then what? If you end up in a wheelchair and you wanted to be an astronaut, then what? Could the answer here be, “There are countless things I can do in the world, I will find something else to fall in love with.” It is absolutely possible if you keep words like “yeah but” out of your mind. “Yeah buts” generally comes with excuses not to change or, in this case, pursue something different.

When I started out, all I wanted in my life was to be a paramedic. A dream dashed by the diagnosis of epilepsy. After being told all my life, “You can’t do this and you can’t do that,” I was crushed. But for me, I was too stubborn to quit. So, having my seizure disorder under control, I joined my local volunteer fire department, went to school to become a trained counselor, and ended up working in a mental institution. All of which I loved.

Sadly though, the gruesome duties of a firefighter took their toll on me, and at 41, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and had to take forced retirement. I was crushed. But despite being impaired to a degree where I could no longer work, I sat at a dimly lit table and wrote out my lifelong battle with depression,

anxiety , and PTSD. I wrote it to better understand myself and published it in hopes that it would help others. Entitled “The Road To Mental Wellness ,” it was an achievement reached in my darkest moments. And I, with the help of some amazing people, did it!

My secret? I see life as always being in the path of a storm; they always upset your goals but if you let it defeat you instead of taking action to save yourself, you’ll never have the opportunity to make something of yourself. In other words, learn from your failures and keep moving right on. Don’t let how you feel about it take away your potential to be something great! While it doesn’t feel like you have any say in the matter, you are the one in control. You are the one because you get to make the choice, wallow in the feeling of failure, or rise above it and be something else.

So, if you need to wallow, don’t wallow too long. When you think about it, failure can be inspirational, can arm you with new goals, and make you a stronger person for it. Just keep moving forward, and you will see it’s true.