What do dads really want for Father's Day?

As summer begins to heat up, we’re faced with several questions: Where do we go on vacation? Who are we inviting to the weekend barbecue? How are the kids spending their time away from school? And, very importantly, what do we give to dad for Father’s Day?

That last question can be perplexing, judging by the questions I receive. Dads and all father figures have shown their love, support, and guidance over the years. But what would make their special day truly meaningful?

Many dads will tell you they don’t want anything, a result of modesty and often a difficulty in communicating their emotions. This reluctance isn't merely self-effacing; it's intertwined with societal expectations that discourage men from openly expressing their feelings.

As a dad to three adult children – and a grandad to seven – I can speak from experience. More than anything, dads seek your presence, your time, and your acknowledgment of the role he’s played in your life. Many just don’t want to say it, so let this dad fill you in!

Personalized, handmade gifts

When Marylou and I started our family back in the 1970s, we were also starting a business. The pressures of building a company meant missing out on milestones and moments that can never be recaptured. I still feel guilty about this today.

When I think back to those early Father’s Days, I remember receiving the usual sweaters and ties. But the greatest gifts were the handmade drawings, photos, and cards that expressed my children’s love – and their view of my importance to them – on a very personal level.

Though the sweaters and ties are long gone, I’ve kept every gift my children created. They’re not just mementos of their imagination, but also milestones marking their growth and the evolution of our relationship. They serve as a timeline of love, reflecting the bond we share and the special moments we had together during those hectic years.

Those are the same kinds of gifts that this dad still cherishes most. Fifteen years ago, I was given a wonderful photo of me holding my 8-month-old granddaughter. I recently got a new photo that recreated the scene. Both sit on my desk today.

The gift of life’s transitions

As the kids grew older, I started receiving different kinds of gifts, though they weren’t intended as such. They were all the moments where I got to watch my children become adults.

I remember the pride I felt during their graduations, watching them walk across the stage, diplomas in hand, ready to embark on new chapters of their lives. Sure, these moments were celebrations of their achievements, but they also were celebrations of the hard work, perseverance, and values Marylou and I had instilled in them.

Weddings have brought another layer of joy. They were not only celebrations of love and new relationships, but also of the culmination of years of growth and the promise of new beginnings. And don’t get me started on watching them become parents!

Ultimately, just being part of their journey has been a wonderful gift. These experiences have provided me with countless memories and a deep sense of fulfillment.

The gift of conversation

What am I looking forward to this Father’s Day next Sunday? It will be the handmade cards and drawings from the grandkids, the time to reflect on my children’s journeys, and the ability to have meaningful conversations with them.

These conversations may be the greatest gift of all. They’re an opportunity for dads and their families to forge a deeper connection – and they don’t cost a penny. And even if your dad isn’t the most communicative, trust me: He will very much enjoy it.

And, dads, don’t forget that you have a role to play, too. Father’s Day is an opportunity for us to create meaningful moments and emotional legacies with our children. Getting to know them more intimately not only enrich our lives but also defines the very essence of our relationships. They'll be memories we’ll cherish for a lifetime.

All the best,

Jim