What to do with Actions When We Use Words

Great title eh? Kinda confusing, right? Exactly! I brought you into this conversation because when you don’t place your words alongside of actions, that is exactly what your recipient gets: CONFUSED… even the smartest ones. You say one thing and you do (or most times, don’t do) another. That’s the Freaky Friday part. That’s the killer for all of us. We build up the expectation from what is said and then we feel the disappointment from what’s not done. This is a bit of a conundrum because the recipient to this behavior has to catch on at some point and then it becomes their responsibility to stop believing your words without actions. You see the blame game beginning to start? The players are set, the board is out and the pieces are all over the place. So what we have is a huge mess of human communication. It’s a beautiful mess though for those who are interested in fixing it and working on themselves, being vulnerable, saying I’m sorry, acknowledging their issues and working towards a better result of matching their words with actions.

Scenario:

--Your boss promises you something. You get excited. She doesn’t deliver. You wait. And wait… and boom. Now you’re pissed and disappointed. Most of the time your boss doesn’t even realize she said something and has to deliver. (That's also a big part of this. We are all a bunch of hot air with our words. Start to pay attention to what you promise.)

--You tell your client you will have it done Monday. It’s the following Monday. Your client is waiting. You overpromised and underdelivered, bro. 

OYE VEY!

Scenario:

--We’re in a relationship and our lover or partner says the sweetest things. We listen and our heart flutters. No action follows. We start tapping our fingers on the table thinking, ok when will they deliver. They don’t. They can’t. They overpromise and underdeliver. We start pushing them to act. They get mad at us. Boom!

--He says he loves you, but he flirts with every single woman on the planet.

--She says she’s interested, but she doesn’t respond or doesn't ACT interested.

ALL OF THIS.

What we’re looking at is a severe lack of integrity and responsibility for what we say when we cannot match words with actions. We're lazy, greedy and we must begin to care more.

So how do we fix this?

We watch what comes out of our mouths and we make sure that we can A. deliver or B. stop, tell the person that we apologize but what we really meant was “blank”.

This is accountability and it feels fucking incredible when we begin as adults to take an active role in our personalities beyond our ego of always wanting or needing to be right or perfect. 

Most of the time we don't even know we're doing this. And that's an even bigger problem. That's where coaching and consulting come in and help us to create a better, more responsible leader within us all. Only the best executives get coached. Because they realize the importance of Beyond Ego thinking.

You got this. Fix it.

Elizabeth Barry is an author, marketing guru and a badass leadership coach. She teaches people self-love, exceptional ways to share their gifts and how to live a life fulfilled, both in and out of the office. For over a decade, she's helped leaders discover their business BEST through the art of powerful communication. Elizabeth's coaching transforms lives, unblock energies and help CEOs, managers and Founders engage in discovering and rediscovering their creative life powers. She will coach you on how to become more coachable. Are you ready for your next? www.elizabethbarryconsulting.com.