What are the differences between married life and single life? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each?

What are the differences between married life and single life? What are the advantages and disadvantages of each? Which lifestyle may be considered more favorable?

Disclaimer: This response is inspired by the teachings from the Islamic University of Madinah while embracing the nuances of American English. It reflects a blend of cultural wisdom and modern communication styles.

Someone asked me a question, “What is your opinion of married life vs. single life? Which is better?”

To address this question, it’s essential to understand the concept of a human being within the Islamic context. In Islam, a human being, or insan (?????), stands as the pinnacle of God’s creations, endowed with profound wisdom, free will, and a sense of responsibility. Humans are tasked with upholding justice and promoting peace on Earth, acting as God's vicegerents.

Creation and Purpose:

Muslims firmly believe that humans were created from dust, infused with God's spirit, which grants them both material and spiritual dimensions. This creation serves a significant purpose: to test humanity, as highlighted in the Quran: “Who has created death and life that He may test you which of you is best in deed. And He is the Almighty, the Oft-Forgiving;” (67:2).

Honored by God:

Islam underscores the remarkable status and dignity of human beings, who are regarded as honored by God (Qur'an 17:70) and entrusted with the role of His vicegerents on Earth (Qur'an 2:30).

Wisdom and Free Will:

Humans possess reason and free will, making them responsible for their actions. This capacity empowers individuals to navigate their personal journeys with intent and moral clarity.

Striving for Perfection:

The journey of a human being involves realizing their spiritual potential and striving to surpass angels rather than succumbing to material desires and diminishing into a lesser state.

Social Beings:

As inherently social beings, humans naturally engage and interact with one another, fostering relationships that are vital for community and growth.

Accountability:

Every person is accountable to God for the choices made throughout life. The Quran honors those who actively cultivate their moral sensibilities.

Equality:

Islam establishes an unequivocal principle of ranking and lineage among all humans, rejecting any distinctions based on color or language and affirming that we are children of Adam.

In the Quran, those who hold elevated ranks are clearly defined. They include individuals who wholeheartedly strive in the cause of Allah with their wealth and lives, as well as those who possess faith, emigrate, and are endowed with knowledge.

Striving in the Cause of Allah:

The Quran emphasizes that those who commit their wealth and lives to Allah's cause are inherently greater in rank than those who remain behind unless they have valid excuses.

Belief and Emigration:

Those who truly believe and emigrate, dedicating their wealth and lives to Allah's path, hold significantly greater worth in Allah's eyes.

Knowledge and Faith:

Allah promises that He will elevate those among you who have believed and been granted knowledge, raising them in degrees of honor.

Prophets and Messengers:

Islam regards prophets and messengers, including Muhammad, as the highest ranks among humanity, chosen by Allah to deliver His divine message.

Martyrs (Shahids):

Those who sacrifice their lives in Allah’s cause are honored with high rank and are assured a place in Paradise.

The Salihin:

This group recognizes their ultimate objective through adherence to the principles of Monotheistic belief (Tawhid), demonstrating their commitment to righteousness.

Lineage:

The Quran clearly highlights that faith, good deeds, and righteous conduct hold far greater significance than lineage or social status. It teaches us that true greatness is achieved by following divine guidance and leading a righteous life, irrespective of our ancestry. As stated in the Quran, "And We have certainly given to you a lineage of the righteous" (19:58), it emphasizes that righteousness is what truly matters.

The Messenger of Allah (?) powerfully conveyed this message when he said, "When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial; or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased)." This reinforces the idea that our legacy is shaped by our actions and the impact we have on others, not merely by our lineage.

Marriage:

Marriage is unequivocally a “choice,” as emphasized in the Quran, reflecting a tradition that has been honored by religious communities for over five thousand years. It embodies a profound bond between two individuals, typically a male and a female, who make a sacred vow to face life's challenges together. This commitment is founded on deep mutual understanding and respect. It is about enduring life's storms and celebrating its joys side by side, demonstrating that true love can withstand the test of time—through thick and thin. Their children not only inherit their legacy but also bring immense joy and honor, shining with brightness and never casting a shadow of shame.

Single:

In Islam, being single is absolutely permissible, yet there's a beautiful recommendation for those who find themselves unattached: consider fasting. The wisdom of Allah's Messenger (?) resonates deeply with young people when he said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry should marry. It’s a means to help lower your gaze and maintain modesty, protecting oneself from temptations." For those who may not be in a position to marry, he advised fasting, as it can serve to temper one’s desires.

This guidance emphasizes the responsibility that comes with marriage. Men are encouraged to be financially stable, physically healthy, and mentally prepared before taking on the sacred bond of marriage. It’s a partnership, and both individuals should bear the responsibilities willingly, ensuring a supportive and loving relationship. Embracing this wisdom can lead to a fulfilling life, whether one chooses the path of marriage or the discipline of fasting.

Ultimately, marriage is a personal choice, and it's essential to understand what truly works for you. No one else can determine your path because you are the one who knows your own needs and expectations. Traditionally, people married to start families, but today, especially in the USA and Western Europe, many choose marriage as a financial strategy. It's important to be clear about your motivations and make decisions that align with your own values and goals.