What did you decide to change this New Year's? Did it include trying to to stop Soldiers from killing ourselves?

** Author's Note: I serve as Oral Roberts University's Veterans Experience Director and send out a weekly message to our student veterans, staff, faculty, alumni, and friends of our community (900+ so far) to share some of what we do, challenges within our demographic, and most importantly, ways to bridge the civil-military gap that unfortunately never seems to abate. This one is meant to generate a reaction....

??????? As we enter a new year, it seems only natural (and habitual?) to use this as an opportunity for reflection and, more importantly, a time to seek out where we can be better as spirit-empowered teammates.? I’m really not going to focus on that per se, as you all have undoubtedly been “hit” with that premise over the past few weeks.? Even though “New Year’s resolutions” are common and “worldly”, my church even got into the action asking us to write down how many weeks we will attend church this year on one side of a piece of paper, and one thing we want to focus on seeing change in our lives that will ultimately honor God.

????My answers were “52” and “consciously work on the words I let out of my mouth”. I still struggle with cussing, and even though I am (mostly?) able to do that here at ORU and around my daughter, I still am not where I need to be, and I will leave it at that.

???? And as much as I see the validity in reflection and “being better”/ “trying harder” / “doing more”, etc., this past week’s news cycle has really hit me hard.? For those that may have missed it, the most “newsworthy” items I am referring to are the events in New Orleans and Las Vegas on New Year’s Day.?

???? Both involved veterans (one still serving). Both had been deployed to combat. And both had unresolved/unaddressed trauma.? Since the investigations are still playing out, I will stop there with my analysis and keep my “Monday morning quarterbacking” to myself.

???? But I will throw out a challenge to everyone on this distribution.? To say there weren’t “signs” of potential issues in either of these individuals and events would be putting the collective heads in the sand of anyone who knew these folks.? This applies to the veteran and the family members.?

???? And yes, I understand this isn’t the typical “let’s start the new year off right!” message, and I am okay with that.? This is a “let’s make an actual effort to combat veteran suicide for those in our lives” message, and one that is far too late in coming.?

???? I will not throw statistics at you, because my community simply doesn’t do a good job in stating the facts.? Many of you have heard of Mission 22 or “22 A Day”, where we say 22 veterans commit suicide every day.? The true data has averaged right at 16-17 per day since 9/11, which is of course still to high, but highlights the lack of proper messaging.

???? I could also bore you with the initiatives and dollars spent on “programs” designed to mitigate this number, but they haven’t been effective, so I won’t.? What I haven’t seen is a “full court press” by the non-veteran community to dig into this problem.?

???? Which leads me to this: We don’t need, or want to hear “thank you for your service”.? We want you to engage with us. Reach out.? When we respond with “fine”, ask more probing questions.? Pay attention.? If this sounds like I am placing an inordinate amount of responsibility on the family member, maybe I am.? But it is only because I, and those like me, continue to fail in opening up ourselves.? We have proven we won’t stop killing ourselves, no matter what program has been proposed and implemented.

???? If it was easy, suicide rates among veterans would decrease.? But we know that isn’t the case.? Something needs to change.? This year, I ask you to pray for and reach out to the veteran(s) in your life.? It may feel intimidating at first, so I share the words Paul sends to the Church in Philippi “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ?And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4: 6-7).

For those that think "thoughts and prayers....that's rich, I've heard that before!", I most definitely hear you. So...after you think some thoughts and pray to your God, DO something. Call the veteran in your tribe. Send that text. Stop by unannounced. When he/she doesn't respond, drive to their house or call/text again. Whatever we have been doing hasn't been working.

????? Would you do that with me?