WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?

Writing from a poor household........??

Where we were merely to have our tummy filled with one time of food. Where it was a priority for our home to look clean than for its people to be at peace. Where we fought daily to save just a little bit more—by not eating until we were full, by not showering to conserve water, and by avoiding the internet to save on electricity. We grew up in a place where only breathing was free.??

Despite this, all of us children were as competent as other wealthy kids; we in fact had better potential than them, but what did we do wrong for not having all those twinkles and achievements they enjoy??

Would not life be unfair if this kept on evolving in the same pattern?

The poor will remain poor, and the world will keep feeding the rich.?

We tried everything in our power and tried things that were beyond our power too. We watched our peers?successfully walk their paths of phenomenal achievements. So we believed it would be easier for us to navigate through life since they were having it all.?

But the path demanded?"us" more energy to put in. They say,

"Life is Easy for the People with their Resources"

But people like us have to construct it from scratch.? I have seen others within the same rank as us but growing at a fast pace, so what did we do wrong??

Perhaps,?success follows a law of attraction—the attraction of wealth. It lives rent-free under the roof of a human being well-suited rather than well-deserved.?

Do you think it's easy for a human mind to get up and be creative when your dad is too passive to hoard because he's tired of trying? Your mom is too agitated to tolerate all of the poverty and you're left with hopes to come out of this loop but you're too stuck in your working hours and self-financing your studies that you barely have time for yourself so being creative and encountering challenge was another thing.?

Do you think it's our fault that we didn't come out easy from this life cycle, where your guilty father is fading his way day by day and your mother is getting outrageous like never before?

Do you think it's our fault when we can not think of skipping this life because even at work we are caught up in the puddle and our minds are consumed by the thought of them fighting back at home?

Do you think it's easy for younger ones to face all this at this age early? But my little one is too young for this.?

I don't know if you think it's our fault but I still am unable to process.?

Yes, I see Instagram of my mates succeeding and have well-managed to live the life I have been planning for years. HOW?is this possible for them, for I started working way too early for them??

I watched them go out for lunch, dinners, and fun nights while I was heading to work. I barely hung out with them. I never joined group studies. They vaguely recognize my face and do not remember my name. I used to sit in the back of the classroom to avoid the teacher’s attention so I could leave early, having lied to my boss about being stuck in traffic.

The Class Representative barely knew me; she didn't agree to mark my fake attendance. I had to fight for my life in the examination hall because of the shortage of days attended, what more could go wrong on the day of your final exam?

I had to wake up earlier than a typical student to check in at work, attend class, and then return to work to check out. My boss noticed and fired me. Then, I got hired somewhere else and got fired again. That vicious cycle kept going on, and I ended up completing a two-year master’s degree in four and a half years. In between these hiring and firing games, I lost my real passion for studying and now it was just a piece of paper that we call a?Degree.?

When I met my former classmate in the final year, she told me she was there to register for her M.Phil program. I felt ashamed of being left behind. I saw my classmates change each year and I ended up graduating with a batch two years younger than me. The struggle became too much, and I started to hate it. I even missed my convocation. No one invited me because they didn’t know me, and I never had the chance to exchange numbers. I found out about it on the university’s Facebook page. It didn’t sadden me because, by then, it was no longer an achievement, just a laminated fancy document.?

How come they find their way to success so soon and I am still finding my way through life??

But I haven't wasted any time—I barely had any time. I took no breaks, and I've been working very hard.

It's unfair of life that all the richies get all the fun and we've just become their audience but in real life. I can't send them double taps here but I am saying "Masha Allah" because I am not jealous but heartbroken. I don’t want anything to be taken away from them but, I'm still waiting for when my time is going to come.?

I'm aging and I'm afraid I'll lose all the hopes. And what if it's too late? And when I ultimately have them all but it's not worth it??

For now, Success seems untouchable and I am waking up with daily success stories of my fellow mates so.........................

WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?

When you're devastated by dullness, negativity, and ugly truth.?

When there's too much information about life on your plate rather than food.?

When you see them parents growing old and unhappy?

And when you're unable to provide escape for your younger ones?

Naturally, you're left with nothing but a sad mind that doesn't want to live and love but wants to pass days in avoidance and ignorance of any more harsh reality of this void world.?

No one should deserve this so,

WHAT DID WE DO WRONG?