What is deliberate exclusion?

"I need to leave this company. I can’t work here anymore. There is no place for me here.?No one cares to resolve the conflicts I have with David from the other department.?Or rather my manager’s fragile efforts to resolve the situation is futile."

Sarah’s experience is not unique.?

There is a Sarah in every organisation.?

When long-standing conflict is left unresolved, the question is how do you function?

How do you feel when you have to collaborate with someone who has deep disrespect for you??

Getting work done with David becomes an uphill journey, because Sarah does not feel like she belongs nor is she respected by him.?

The equation in Sarah’s head is simple. ? If you let David criticise me /?bully me and be inefficient with his responsibilities then I don’t count here. The only way I can find my way to belong here is by bringing results. ?

So, Sarah’s sense of identity gets deeply locked up in the results she produces.?

But then how does she reach her objectives when she needs David’s support to collaborate with her.?

What can she say? Not say? 

How does she need to behave? 

How does she not show that she feels weak in this situation. 

All these questions consume her headspace.
         

This conflict is like a big rock that is in the middle of everything she does.?

When leaders don’t take a stance for inappropriate behaviours, we create exclusion.?Deliberate Exclusion is listening with our ears and not with our psychological minds and hearts.?

If you are a Sarah reading this, let me tell you this: “No one will save you from deliberate exclusion”.?

I am not a pessimist here. Hear me out, the busyness of today’s world is taking away one’s capacity to tap into empathy.?

My 2 tips:

1. You need to stand up and fight this battle, no one will save you if you don’t ask for help. And if you do, there are some beautiful people in this world and you can find support.?
2. If you witness a Sarah in your organisation, extend your help, even if you have no role to play in her conflict.?

Our mental health impacts our physical health.

I have seen too many Sarah’s in many organisations, and my heart breaks each time when we exclude people and don’t provide the support needed to do one’s job.?

The workplace is not a place to suffer.?

The workplace is a sacred place where we can be of service. It is a place to be of?service to one another, to our clients and to the world at large.?

There is a Sarah in each of us, waiting to belong. To be loved, to be accepted and to be treated with respect.?

If you are inspired to shift your organisational culture,?let’s talk!

Deepa?

#meetmypotential #balanceforsuccess #inclusion

About the Author:

Deepa Natarajan is a Transformation Coach who helps leaders change the way they lead by bringing eastern and western practices in service of transforming lives. She uses her proven methodology, "Rethink Leadership", to shift organisational cultures and help leaders get unstuck from old patterns and habits that don’t serve the challenges they face. Feel free to reach out to [email protected].