What defines us?
Photo credit: raft-h2o.com

What defines us?

My mom passed away in February 2021. During the memorial service, it wasn’t a surprise that people focused on who she was instead of the possessions or property she left behind. I’m pretty sure no one gets up at a funeral and talks about the deceased’s net worth, how many cars they had or the number of projects they delivered on time at work.?

So why do we so often define ourselves by our outward success?

The Principle

If our financial and career success (as nice as those are) don’t ultimately define us, what does? My idealistic little soul imagines a world in which our character defines us because we have done the work to intentionally define our character.?

Think of it like getting in a raft on a river. We’ll inevitably be carried downstream. As the twists and turns come, we can intentionally navigate the raft with the oars or sit back and allow the raft to follow the path of least resistance. Our choice will make a huge difference in the experience we have, not to mention whether we survive or not.?

It’s the same with our character. We can intentionally define and develop it or we can allow it to take the path of least resistance. Our choice will affect the way we live and connect with others.?

Think of the people you trust and feel connected to most. Is their character developed by intention or by accident?

The Practice

Developing our character is a daily pursuit. Whether you are very intentional about developing your character, or not quite there yet, here are a couple of ideas to nudge you along:

  1. Think of your personal values. Are they attributes or verbs? (i.e. Integrity vs. Do the right thing, even when no one is watching) If they’re passive, turn them into behaviors. They can only contribute to your character when they are put into action.
  2. As we strive to live our values, we all screw it up sometimes. Reframe mistakes and missteps as “character building experiences.” They’re not mistakes if they help you learn, grow and refine your character.?

What other ideas do you have that could help you refine your character with intention?

Till next time,?

dm

Ryan Denner

Catalyst | Leader | Flow & Deep Work Proponent

2 年

Well said! Reminds me of the quote "Easy choices, Hard life. Hard choices, Easy life"

Lenora Brown

Professor of music at University of Utah

2 年

Hi David, It's very interesting that I was just thinking about your mom this morning. I'm so very sorry she passed away. I wish I would have known. I would have been at the funeral for sure. Your mom had a very big impact on my life. She stood for such amazing principles and they rubbed off on me. She was a very caring, loving person and she wanted the best for everyone. She was willing to help in every way she could and she was a great listener and confidant. I'm sure you'll miss her terribly. She lived life being a Christ - like example to everyone. As I reflect on her today, I will celebrate her life! Thank you for the brilliant article. I am going to share it with my husband and children. They will all remember your mom very well. Best to you. Lenora

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