What Deborah Meaden Taught Me About Values-Based Leadership

My latest client runs a ￡500,000 business and her team and her clients are important to her.

But she’s been getting lots of hassle too.? Arguments from some team members, some push-back at team meetings, some clients challenging her over rates.? She hates all this.? Can you relate?

I took her through my Values Exercise last week and she was unsurprised to discover that kindness is her top value.? We dug a bit deeper into what that means for her and she mentioned how she loves Deborah Meaden - successful business person and part of the Dragon’s Den panel.

I asked “why do you love Deborah Meaden?” … “she's kind, a lovely woman, but she’s firm too.? Tough”.? I asked “what sort of kind are you?”.? There was a long pause … “I’m not firm like she is”.? We discovered that she is kind but with her team it’s the sort of kind that gets walked over.

It was as if scales had fallen from her eyes.? “Oh my goodness, I’m a doormat for them”.? The rest of that coaching call was gorgeous as she unpacked where she let her boundaries drop, why she did that, what that felt like and how a few of the team took advantage of it.

Then we looked at the sort of kindness that her heroine embodies.? Kind, respectful, caring, thoughtful, but with clearly-defined edges: you know when you’ve reached them.

The next team meeting the following morning was completely different.

If you love something, there is a reason - it chimes with your values.? If you hate something it’ll be because it clashes with your values.? But unless you are really clear on what your values are, you might not know how to move forward.

An Action to Take Now

Grab a notepad or piece of paper.? On the left, write down the situations, places, people or events that you love.? Then on the right hand side write down why you love that, but from the inner awareness of what is your value that you love it.? For example, you might volunteer and love that.? Why?? Perhaps because it seems so simple to you but the response you get is so huge, the gratitude, the warm fuzzy feelings and the joy of being appreciated.? Maybe also it’s because the others who volunteer there do it for the same reasons you do and that community, that fellowship and camaraderie is so important for you.? Values = selflessness, service, giving back, respect, appreciation, community, camaraderie, belonging etc.

Now - on another side of paper - write the situations, people, things and places you hate or that niggle or annoy or frustrate you.? Then dig into why that is.? You’ll discover that it is almost always because what you see or experience runs contrary to your core values.

I usually do this Values exercise on a 1-hour call and it would be my privilege to walk you through that too, so DM me or comment and let’s get that done.

As you go through this week, stay aware of what you love and what you don’t and get curious about what that tells you about your inner values.? These are the surest guide to happiness and fulfillment I know.

Let me know what you uncover.

Are you qualified but uninspired? Read on for hope ... ??