What is the complete question?
Hi there!
I have a fun topic, a situation that I've seen happen a lot during my career.
The situation is this: Someone asks you a question, they hear and seem to commit to the next steps, and then they don't follow through at all.
Why is that? I have a theory. I think that most of the time when someone asks a question, they're actually looking for validation of the solution they already have in mind.
For years, I thought I needed to answer their question directly. I would think back through my own experience and find a specific answer that I could give them, and I would feel proud of myself for being so helpful. But it turns out that this doesn't work very well. If the person already has a solution in mind, then I'm not listening to them. I'm just giving them my answer, and they're not hearing me.
A better approach is to ask them questions.
"What do you think?"
"What have you found out so far?"
"Have you asked anyone else?"
These questions will help you understand the person's thinking. You can see the direction they're going and the conclusions they've reached. You can also ask clarifying questions to understand their reasoning. This is not just about the initial question someone asks. It's about the questions behind the question, their intentions, and their biases. That is the entire question they have!
Asking all the follow-up questions, hearing and internalizing all - isn't this hard? It can be. I am not able to do it every time or in every 1:1, but I'm learning to do it more often. And I'm finding that it makes a big difference. When I do listen to the entire question, I'm able to have a more productive conversation. We're not just talking at each other; we're working together to find a solution.
Even if the person doesn't end up following through with my answer, they're at least more likely to acknowledge it and give it an honest effort.
So next time you're wondering why someone isn't following through, take a step back and think about whether you listened to the entire question.
Thanks for reading! Chat with you again soon,
Amit
Sr. Dev Manager at Expedia
1 年Thank you for sharing this. I have many similar experiences. I used to think that I should have more follow ups. However, that does not work well -- for one, you may not be able to follow up everything, for two, like you mentioned, it often does not turn out the way you hoped. Looking forward to trying this approach out.
Product @ Amazon | I write about AI, Product Management, and Personal Growth
1 年Engaging the person who asked the question changes the perspective of both the stakeholders. They are now workign as a team as opposed to one way relationship. Even if they asked the question for the sake of asking it brings accountability in the person asking the question as well.