What comes first, the story or the message?

What comes first, the story or the message?

People often ask me what comes first, the story or the message?

Typically, I start with being clear on the message I want to communicate. Then I find an appropriate story that demonstrates my point. Having said that, sometimes a story is so good that it works the other way.

This happened to me recently, when my daughter Alex introduced me to adding preservative free wine drops to a bottle of red. Apparently, adding five drops to a bottle reduces the effects that the preservatives in red wine have on you the next morning.

Wine Drops Drama

Last Friday, the fire was lit, a bag of chips was opened, and the wine drops had been added to the bottle of red. It was time to pour Alex and myself a glass of Shiraz.

When Alex went to refill our wine glasses, she picked up the drops next to the wine and asked, ‘Mum, you didn’t add this to the wine did you?’

I responded, ‘Yes - why do you ask?’ I was wondering why she would ask a stupid question. Especially considering she was the one that got me using the wine drops in the first place.

Alex exclaimed, ‘Because these are eye drops not wine drops ...you have probably poisoned us!’

My initial reaction was to wonder which idiot left the eye drops next to the alcohol sitting on the bench rather than putting them back in the medicine cabinet. I’d also like to point out that the bottles had a similar style, just different colours. The eye drops were called Blink – Relief with every blink. Even if I’d read the label, I could have easily thought it said Drink – Relief with every drink. So, it was an easy mistake to make!

Finding the Message

Upon further consideration, I decided that I was going to find a way to share this story. It is a great anecdote that could easily be linked to the consequences of making assumptions.

Sharing stories in business isn’t about significant events or life changing moments. It’s the everyday stories that people relate to the most.

Learning how to find and share stories that match your business messages not only improves your ability to influence others but also helps you to communicate with success.

If these skills will help you or your team, let’s chat about my virtual workshops. Alternatively, you may like to register for my upcoming public webcasts below:

Business Storytelling

9th July 9am – 12pm

14th July 1 – 4pm

I am also running public virtual webcasts on Presenting with Impact – onstage and online. You can find out more and register at the links below.

Presenting with Impact

22nd July 9am-11am

29th July 1 – 3pm


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Gabrielle Dolan is a best selling author and international speaker on business storytelling and authentic leadership. She is also the founder of Jargon Free Fridays. Her latest book, Real Communication: How to be you and lead true, can be purchased here. Follow this link to find out more about Gabrielle.?

Kerrie Vickers

Transformational Technology Leader | Strategic Vision & People-First Digital Solutions

4 年

Ah, that feels like something I would do. Glad it didn’t poison anyone! I relate with what Dayle said. When I have the story that resonates with me, it is a good opportunity for self reflection - why am so excited about it that to want to share it?! Sometimes it may be as simple as you wanting human connection. Other times it is to get a message that I’m passionate about out. I also actively ensure that I don’t get so enthused with the storytelling that I miss the subtle indications as to when it’s time to stop sharing and instead start listening. When people respond with their own stories, there can be so much to learn. It can show they understood your message and can build stronger connections.

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Dayle Stevens OAM

Executive - Data & AI at Telstra

4 年

Interesting question - both for me. Sometimes there's a message to be communicated & I search my story banks for one that works. Sometimes something happens, I recognise the story but not yet what message it holds & bank it away for the right messaging moment to come along.

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