What Comes after "I Understand or I Think I Understand?" Try,"Tell Me More"
If "I Understand" is the most powerful tool to create better human communication...What Comes Next? Tell Me More, you ask...
I discovered a great little book "Perfect Phrases for Sales Presentation" by Linda Eve Diamond. In the book she has an absolute truism which I embrace. "Always Be Listening!" But it leaves a tremendous amount of awkward silence, if you just listen. Listening to what? We sales professional, when there is silence fall into selling and it is probably the most detrimental thing we do. Stop selling and start asking. Bridge the gap to understanding by acknowledging that you are listening and that you are present in the conversation. Then, for goodness sake, do not make a statement, ask a question. If you have nothing pointed, then let the person you are engaged with tell you.
Follow, "I Understand, or I Think I Understand" with, “But can you tell me more?” Sounds basic, but if you fell off the sales wagon, or you're just trying to figure out why your spouse or partner is upset, this is like communication Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!! It keeps the conversation (and the listening) open and flowing.
Don’t be obnoxious about it, but seriously, in your own words in your own way, acknowledge with "I think I understand" and follow it with the opportunity of the person talking to explain better, more thoroughly or get it off their chest.
I have found the most amazing things happen. Sometimes it is just a further explanation, a rephrasing of the topic, statement or objection. But more often than not, the next words go off in the most unexpected tangent that gets much closer to the heart of the matter. I’m no communication genius. But I do know one thing. You’ll never get to understand anything if people stop talking. In sales or at home.
So tell me, what do you think?
Really, that’s kinda cool that you think that way, but I’m not sure I totally get it, can you tell me more?
Like the old commercial, "Try it, you’ll like It" (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qdfMYFl0Ic)
Robert Pappas
Author, Contributing Editor and Co-Founder of Sales Linkage, a Sales Consulting and Communications Training Organization