What Color Are You?

Howdy! Hey there! Yes, you! I have a secret to share but don't tell anyone!

I turned 40 this month.

At this point you are probably wondering why you are reading this article. This is a business social site, not Facebook. I hear ya! But trust me - there is a good reason I am writing this here. If you find yourself in a space of change or evolution, keep reading, this article is for you. I don't know who you are, but I am writing this for you.

To properly write this article I must go back to 28-year-old Nicki. I promise it'll add context. Let's say your life is a color wheel and your color is who you are meant to be. At 28 I wasn't just a few shades off; I was a whole different spectrum. I was a flat grey tone - depressed and cold. I was married, with one child, unhappy in my career, had dropped out of college, no friends, and no hobbies. It was at this time that I had my life epiphany. It happened at some arbitrary moment sitting on a bar stool. No one said anything life changing to me, my brain just got exhausted with self-pity. It got tired of going to the well of reasons I felt unaccomplished. My mind suddenly understood I was responsible for my reality, and this meant I was also responsible for the solution. I was responsible for achieving what I was capable of. In a flash (a few seconds) I could see the roadmap of my future and I knew the destination age, 40.?While it sounds like a long time, I was worried 12 years was not enough to accomplish what I wanted and become my true color!

Here we are, 12 years later. 12 years of growth. 12 years of change. 12 years of evolving. I have graduated college, built a career, had a major move, found sports/hobbies again, made new friendships, and re-sparked old friendships. I've also experienced the cancer diagnoses of my dad, death of my grandma, and my marriage ending. I have learned to love deeper and be more vulnerable than I ever thought was possible. There are so many lessons I could share about my evolution, but these are the 5 that kept me on my true north, and they happen to be applicable to business leaders!

1. There is time. You aren't too far down the path to forge a new path. At 28 I built a new path that changed everything. Don't underestimate yourself. You are both capable and responsible to achieve the future you want.
2. Celebrate incremental wins. In business we are always targeting the end goal. This can feel overwhelming. Change doesn't happen suddenly; it happens over time. I allow myself to be happy with small wins. The human brain is built to focus on the negative and/or setbacks. Celebrating incremental wins has helped me rewire my brain to see the positive. One possible tool is to create what I like to call, a "yay" file - store positive notes, emails, and texts that you receive. On those tough days go back and read through them - it'll get you through.
3. Be a solution. I have a saying, "don't come to me with a problem, come to me with a solution." If you can identify a problem, then there is potential to create the solution. It's so easy to live in a space pointing out the gaps. It's much harder to recognize the gap and put the effort to create a solution. It's a game changer.
4. Be intentional. Be intentional with your focus, your time, your thoughts, and your support. I believe that you get what you give. You can't expect people to be intentional with you if you can’t be intentional with them. When you are intentional you remove space for chaos. There is less chance of being derailed. Choose diligently and watch progression happen!
5. Sit still, listen, and learn. I have learned so much by sitting still. I know it's attractive to want to move fast. Our world is fast. I was late getting started so I felt A LOT of pressure to move fast. But I know that I am a better person and leader for the moments that I sat still, listened, and learned. If you move too fast there will be a point that you will get surpassed. The business needs only grow, and if you don't give yourself time and space to learn, you won't know how to deal with all the challenges you will face. I've been anxious before, but the voice inside always told me to sit still, listen, and learn. And I have to say, it's paid off.

To whomever is reading this, I hope these 5 lessons help you. I learned them by taking the slow and hard path. I can proudly say that I am no longer a flat grey color. So, what color am I? I have asked people and I love it when they say red!