What Is Collaborative Divorce?
A term that is becoming more recognized is “collaborative divorce.” I know that I’m being asked about it more and more lately. Usually the follow-up question is does collaborative divorce involve mediation.
Collaborative divorce is an alternative to traditional formal divorce litigation and an option for couples who are both ready to end their marriage and willing to work together to negotiate issues.
Before choosing collaborative divorce when meeting with a mediator, the parties must understand that the mediator does not provide legal advice, so each party should still communicate with their attorney. Nor can the mediator provide financial advice, so each may also want to seek out their own adviser or accountant for any money related issues. And, if children are involved, each party may seek out assistance from a child specialist or a co-parenting coordinator.
Then, with the help of a mediator, a couple can work together and try to resolve issues and their future relationship.
The advantages to the couple are privacy, confidentiality, as well as time and cost savings. More importantly for couples who have no desire to engage in “warfare,” collaborative divorce allows them to negotiate their separation and divorce in an environment that is mutually respectful of the relationship they once valued and to negotiate how they will relate to one another in the future.
One mediation I conducted provides a typical example of a collaborative divorce for a couple with no children. Each party had consulted with attorneys and agreed to meet to mediate issues before returning to their attorneys who would prepare the necessary legal documents. In a three-hour mediation, they began by expressing to each other the disappointment and hurt that their relationship was ending. Then continued by agreeing they had no desire to work to continue their marriage. At that point they divided assets and liabilities and necessary details to put that division into place. Then, after successfully dealing with those issues, they were both ready and willing to express to one another respect and goodwill toward one another.
They entered the mediation as adversaries; they left the mediation as people who collaborated to achieve the best outcome for each.