What is Coaching?

What Is Coaching?

Asking this question is like asking “What is leadership?” The answer depends on whom you ask and where you look. Definitions abound. As is true in defining leadership, the important thing in defining coaching is to find which voices in the field you agree with and trust. Find a definition that works for you and stick with it.

Here’s the definition I use: Coaching is a meaningful, confidential, accountable relationship created by having routine one-on-one conversations about the coachee’s full experience and the power of possibility.

Every word in that definition is important. Let’s break it down:

? Meaningful—Coaching is not a superficial conversation. It’s not your weekly project check-in or one-on-one meeting (although, if you have no other time, these are good places to sneak in a little coaching). Coaching is an opportunity to step outside the day-to-day pressures of work to focus on deeper issues, such as what makes the employee fulfilled and productive at work.

? Confidential—Effective coaching relies on a foundation of trust and safety that can only come with iron-clad confidentiality. Step 3 will delve more deeply into the concept and challenges of confidentiality in coaching, especially in the workplace.

? Accountable—Without accountability, coaching conversations are simply that—conversations that may not lead to any lasting change or to growth and development. Coaching includes check-ins on assignments and measurements of progress toward goals.

? Relationship—A relationship needs more than one person to make it work. Coaching is a two-way model built on trust and mutual respect.

? Routine—Coach and coachee should get together with some regularity—and this doesn’t mean at annual performance review meetings! You and your coachee will decide what frequency makes sense, depending on your schedules and on the coachee’s goals. Regular meetings enhance trust, accountability, and progress.

? One-on-one—Just by taking the time to be alone with your employee, you show her you value her and are invested in her growth and development. Deeper, more intimate relationships are formed when two people work together as coach and coachee. Group or team coaching does also exist, but the focus is usually a little narrower in those situations, as, instead of being about an individual’s full experience and range of possibilities, it is usually more focused on how team members can work together more effectively for desired results, or on a specific skill that multiple people need to develop at the same time.

? Full experience—When you come into the office, you don’t check your outside life at the door. Whatever is going on for you at home comes to work with you and vice versa. Wherever you are, you’re a whole person living a full experience. When a coach shies away from allowing the coachee to share his full experience, the coach is discounting that person’s values, background, and motivations. Therefore, there are practically no limits on what can be included in a coaching conversation.

? Power of possibility—Coaches have to encourage their coachees. When a coachee doesn’t believe in herself, or when no one else believes in her, the coach has to help illuminate the power of possibility for the coachee—help her understand what choices actually are available and let her make conscious choices. Uncovering possibilities helps people get out of situations in which they feel stuck or are in conflict. This component of coaching often requires coaches to show coachees the greatness within them that makes their success possible.

That’s my definition. If it doesn’t resonate with you, try some of the following ways to arrive at your own definition:

? Think about someone who’s been a good coach to you. This need not be someone who was acting officially as your coach. They need not have been in the workplace; maybe they were a teacher, a sports coach, or someone from well in your past. Make a list of this person’s best qualities. What did they do that was coach-like? Pose the same questions to people around you to get their input. Use the characteristics and examples on your list to craft your own definition of coaching. So, if you remember that your high school guidance counselor was a great coach to you because she displayed good listening skills and she created a plan for you that was completely individualized, you might come up with a definition something like this: “A coach is a person who listens intently to guide you on a personal journey.”

? Enter the keywords coach and definition in Google or another search engine and see what comes up. Look for themes among the definitions and words or phrases to which you relate. Use all these pieces to craft a definition that works for you. Here are a few of the definitions for coach that I found in a recent search:

° a railroad passenger car or motor bus

° a person who trains or directs athletes or athletic teams

° someone who supports, explains, demonstrates, instructs, and directs others via encouragement and questions; may include lifestyle advice, such as nutrition, exercise, behavior, and more

° facilitator of a professional relationship that helps people produce extraordinary results in their lives, careers, businesses, or organizations

° an individual who helps others develop their own resources and solution-finding capabilities.

From those definitions, you might come up with something like this: “Coaching is moving people from one place to another in support of ongoing training or a specifically desired result.”

Regardless of what definition you come up with, it is important to have one because it can guide you in each coaching conversation you have with your coachee, and help you set overall expectations with potential coachees and their direct supervisors about what they can expect from a coaching relationship.