What is Coaching, Really?

Calling myself a ‘coach’ has always seemed like a funny thing to do. The term seemed misleading, confusing or a down right turn off for many.

I suppose one of those reasons is because coaching it’s unregulated. Anyone on the internet can slap the name "coach" next to their name and start telling you about their 5-step formula to live a better life…. if you just pay them $5k in full, without the promise of a refund…

That’s scary to think about. I even fell for it many years ago and bought a cheap “life coaching certification” course on Udemy, and promptly stopped after the second lesson when I realized the man presenting it appeared more like a snake oil salesman than a genuine authority on helping people change.

It’s true that “hurt people, hurt people”. Often in our healing we want to help so badly that we begin “helping people” everywhere we can. But in our ignorance, we end up projecting our fears or pain onto those we intend to serve, or worse we rob them of their agency and ability to find a solution for themselves.

Most people call it – giving advice.

And that’s what makes the difference between a professional coach and an “online coach” or as I like to call them “coachsultants”. (It’s not to say their work is all bad, it’s often not, but it is most certainly not coaching).

Let’s take a deeper look at what exactly coaching is and how partnering with a professional coach can help you to create a life that you love to live, by your own design.

You are Creative, Resourceful and Whole

In 1995 Thomas Leonard developed The International Coach Federation (ICF) and today over 50,000 coaches hold the distinction of being professionally certified. That might sound like a lot, but in most countries around the world, and even in the west, there are far fewer professional coaches than people seeking coaching services.

The ICF is the leading global organization for coaches and coaching. ICF is dedicated to advancing the coaching profession by setting high standards, providing independent certification, and building a worldwide network of trained coaching professionals.

The ICF defines coaching as a partnering with clients in a thought provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.

“Coaches honor that clients are the experts of their own lives, and they serve as a creative thought partner to help them think about their thinking.”

?The Difference

That is the key difference between “online coaches” and professional coaches. All too frequently online coaches are master internet marketers in disguise. They understand the art of persuasion and influence to bring you to the decision to buy their program, but not the art and science of coaching.

Their content is often great, but it fundamentally misses, and actively counteracts, the essence of coaching that helps drive lasting change by leading you through a self-paced online education course with the addition of group coaching calls.

What’s wrong with that you ask?

Well, if you’re looking to gather information, learn new perspectives and see what worked for someone else, nothing!

But if you’re looking to maximize your own personal potential, examine your own thinking and how your actions or lack of action causes you to remain stagnant, update your beliefs and habits, or take on a new scary challenge, that’s probably not the formula for you.

"You are you unique. Your experiences, perspectives, and worldview and your own."

And by following someone else’s “perfect program” you are being denied your agency to be creative in problem solving, resourceful in your approach and a whole human capable of immense capacities.

The ICF defines relationship between a client and coach is a co-creative relationship that works to:

? Identify, clarify, and create a vision for what the client wants?

? Encourage client’s self-discovery and growth?

? Elicit strategies and an action plan based on the client’s goals, personality, and vision?

? Foster client accountability to increase productivity

Coaching allows the client to maximize his or her potential.

Research shows that coaching and training is more effective combination than training alone. In fact, training alone can increase productivity by 22.4%, but when combined with weekly coaching, productivity is boosted by 88%.?

The Bottom Line

• Do seek out certified professionals in the field of coaching.
• Do be wary of online internet marketers who are carefully targeting you by key psychographic and demographic information.
• Do ask yourself why you are drawn to sexy online programs that claim to have the answer to all of your questions in an 8-week mastermind (and actively reflect on the absurdity of that proposition in the first place).
• Do understand that coaching is built on trust and rapport which takes time to develop.
• Do connect with people in the coaching profession and explore their process.
• Do keep one eye on the inside and ensure you feel safe working with them because it is. psychological safety that activates positive emotion attractors that help us drive real intentional change. Without it, you’ll keep spinning your wheels, or potential do more harm than good.

If you are interested in becoming a better version of yourself, building harmony into your work and personal life, developing healthier habits or relationships then do consider working with a professional coach.

Understand that you are committing to do the work internally and externally that you have you likely wanted to do for some time, and may have been actively putting off. Professional coaches will not save you, heal you or do the work for you.

But they will guide you to create a life that you have always dreamed of, and this is something worth striving for.?