What coaching means to me

Two particularly favorite occupations of mine are learning and giving, not necessarily in that order.

?I love to do many other things, but these two give me the greatest satisfaction.

?When I learn and give, I forget myself, I sink into what I do, and time stands still for me.

?Flow is what they call this phenomenon. Or rather, so called it the famous late American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, in his book of the same name (Flow, 1990). It is like children forgetting the existence of the world around them, when playing, while their mother calls them, again and again, to leave the playground and come up for dinner. They can’t even hear her, so immersed in their game.

?As defined by Csikszentmihalyi in 1975, it is also colloquially known as “being in the zone”.

?This is a “mental state in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by the complete absorption in what one does, and a resulting transformation in one's sense of time.”

?No wonder, then, that I love coaching so much. For me, coaching is a huge opportunity to experience both learning and giving, and being in complete flow.

As for learning, it is made possible for me day by day, hour by hour, in every coaching session or workshop meeting I conduct or participate in. Not only is it possible, it is a cornerstone of my profession. Both within the framework of coaching or training itself, and both in the need and opportunity to learn all the time in order to "sharpen the axe," to sharpen my listening and coaching capabilities, which are my main tools for succeeding in this work.

?I constantly learn about the client, about myself, and about the developments of my profession. And, especially together with the coachee, while creating a learning space for both of us, a space where new awareness and solutions arise.

As for giving, there is nothing I love more. Coaching is a profession that allows great, generous and blessed giving. It is done in a subtle, smart, clean and empowering way, and is helpful to both the giver and the receiver. When I am immersed in it, I feel deep satisfaction, a clear meaning of life, and also, a complete fit between my doing and my life purpose. I feel flow.

?When I coach, whether it's managers, teams or individuals who invite me into their lives, I'm in my comfort zone, in my areas of strength, although at times the coaches or the situation might challenge me personally as well. I'm in the "right" place.

?The Cambridge Dictionary defines “being in the zone” as being in a state where you are happy and excited because you are doing something very skillfully and lightly.

Although I consider myself as someone who already does this (i.e., coaching) quite skillfully, and relatively easily, there are plenty of skills I still need to learn in order to improve my abilities as a coach. However, I definitely feel at home when practicing.

?Sir Ken Robinson, the British education wizard, calls this “being in the Element”- that is, being in the natural, appropriate and harmonious environment for the person, to do something he or she particularly enjoy.

?Robinson defines it as the point at which natural talent meets personal passion. When people arrive at the Element, they feel most themselves, most inspired and achieve at their highest level (The Element, 2011).

For me, coaching connects all these miraculously. Not just for myself, but for my coachees and trainees as well. Both because it requires me to take a mindset and an approach of non-judgmental curiosity, and because it requires an active search for opportunities and solutions. The same goes for my coachees.

?Coaching, for me, is an opportunity to contribute something meaningful to those who have sought my help, an opportunity to plant hope, to find a new perspective on existing, “old” experiences and perceptions. Without hope, there is no energy moving forward, and without moving forward, there can be no change or reshaping of the reality of our lives.

Ever since I was exposed to the approach of the excellent coach Marcia Reynolds, I chose to adopt her terminology that a coach is a "thinking partner." My trainees repeatedly point out that one of the great gifts they see in coaching is the opportunity to talk to someone, to think together, to gain new perspectives. This in itself is a gift, they say. It is a gift for me, too.

?Thus, coaching, for me, is an opportunity to partner with another person, an opportunity for shared thinking. An opportunity to participate in his or her life in an intimate and meaningful way, in a respectful, appreciative, supportive and challenging way.

?It is an opportunity to create a future that is worth getting up for every morning. Both for my coachees and for me.

?Finally, coaching for me is the possibility and opportunity to help another person learn from his or her own experiences, and not through my own experience or knowledge.

?We tend to give advice, or brainstorm for solutions when we or those dear to us encounter a new challenge. Yet this should not come before one explores what is going on underneath, what is important and to what degree, why we want to get where we want to, what stands in our way and more. Only then we start thinking about solutions.

Therefore, it is also not helpful at all to offer your own experience and advice as a solution to the challenges of others, as your situation, your condition, your skills, energies, creativity or grit might differ significantly from those of the other. Thus, your good advice might turn into a bad, sometimes even a disastrous one. Keep it to yourself.

Coaching to me is a gift, ?an opportunity to be in the zone, in flow, and in congruence with my true life purpose, while serving others around me. I am extremely happy about that.