What is Coaching and how do I do it?

I often get asked ‘what’s the difference between feedback and coaching’.

It’s a simple answer.

Feedback is when you tell somebody something.?You don’t check how it has landed, you don’t set follow up and you expect them to be able to correct whatever it is that you have fed back independently.

Coaching is when both participants play an active part in the feedback process and look at what has happened and then ultimately look at how to improve this with a plan that has been agreed (subject for another blog).

There are many ways to deliver coaching, but the most effective way that I have found is the Sports Coaching model developed by Cohen Brown Management Group .?It’s the one I use at Xcel Health .

It takes into account the way that Professional Sports People are coached and transposes this across to a business setting.?Sports People get great results from coaching, why shouldn’t it be the same in business?

Roger Federer didn’t get where he got to without a lot of hard work from a dedicated coach who observed his every move and shot and helped him to improve.?It’s why he was arguably one of the greatest players ever to have played tennis.

He wasn’t told, ‘Federer, your lob is rubbish, improve it by next time…’ ??

The most important thing to ensure a successful coaching session is the mood that you set at the beginning of the session.?If the person that you are coaching is receptive to you and open to the discussion, you will have a much better outcome than if they are defensive and unwilling to hear what you are saying.

I always start with gaining their perception as to how the session went.?I will always focus on the positives at the beginning. ‘Tell me what went well’.?

If you ask somebody ‘how do you think that went?’, they will invariably start with all of the negatives.?It’s human nature, we always look for improvements.?If they do start listing negatives then I will ask them to focus on the positives.

A person will rarely find many positives in their own performance, so I will ask ‘what else went well’ until we have about 4 or 5 points.?If there really aren’t any more positives that they can think of then there is no need to labour the point.?But, focussing on the positives often takes a lot more thought that you would think!

Once I have asked them to list their positives (and written them down), then I will ask ‘what do you think you would do differently if you were to do it again?’?The answers here generally range from small minor points to major things.?

It’s useful to gain their perception as it also gives you an idea how they saw the session that you observed.?

You gain valuable insight.?It informs you how you need to pitch your feedback.?If they think it has been brilliant and your opinion is different then you need to make sure that you give the feedback in a way that gets the points across.?Conversely, if they feel it was a disaster and you feel the opposite then you need to be reassuring.

Once they have said all they have to say about their own performance, having looked at both the positives and the negatives, it’s my turn to talk!?

The next step is to give the positives that I have observed during the session and I will also try as much as possible to reinforce the positives that they gave.?More often than not, they are the same, so it’s not particularly hard to do!

The hardest and definitely most important part is the areas where you feel there could be improvement.

You will probably have a list of things that didn’t go as well as you had hoped.?You also have the points that they have listed.?Depending on how long the session was and what they have said and what type of session you have observed, then you could have upwards of 20 points.

?If you have observed something which looks at following a process, such as a scripted client meeting or a compliance process this is especially true.

Restraint is necessary here as will become evident in the next phase.

The first thing to do is to tell them ‘from my observation, these are the things that I think were the most important, but I also want to address the areas that you brought up.’

Once I have addresses the areas that they have brought up, I will add a maximum of 2 or 3 more.?But those that I have mentioned will be what I consider to be the most important parts. ?

Listing small details generally won’t bring about the improvement that you are looking for, so it’s why I only focus on the most important.??

Once I have delivered my feedback, then it’s really important to agree with the coachee that the feedback is fair.?If they agree with the feedback, then it makes the next stages much easier.?If not, then there is a conversation to be had, so that you can understand what their objections are.

Once we have agreed that the feedback is fair, then the final stage of the feedback part is to ask them which of the points that we have discussed is likely to have the biggest impact on their future performance.?

Each session is different and you will have a fairly good idea which point that is.?If they choose something which is ‘easier’, then I will ask if they really think that this is the most important thing to work on.?Generally it is listed because it is easy, not because it is high impact.

It’s why it’s important to talk about the big things and not the small details!

Once we have agreed the piece of feedback that is the most important, then,(time permitting), we will move onto building the skill.?Read my next blog to see how to do that!

In summary

1.??????Their perception – positive points

2.??????Their perception – development areas

3.??????Your feedback – positives

4.??????Your feedback – development areas

5.??????Agree the feedback

6.??????Agree which is the most important point to work on

It takes a bit of time to get it right, but following this structure keeps the feedback session consistent.

For even better results, signpost the different stages; it means that you train people in the structure and the next time you meet, they know the structure and are ready with their own feedback!