What is Coaching? And what Coaching is NOT.

What is Coaching??And what Coaching is?not.

This article is for someone who has never experienced coaching before (as I understand there are many). I always level set with my clients if they’ve never had any kind of coaching experience, to clarify first what coaching is not.

Let's dive in.

What Coaching Is Not:

1. Coaching is not therapy. ?

Therapy focuses on the past, often dealing with childhood trauma or historical events. In coaching, we are not concerned with the past - we don't live there anymore.

We focus on the current state, the desired future state, and the gap between them. We explore the challenges, obstacles, blockers, and the methods to overcome them. While coaching is not a therapy, the coaching experience can be a very therapeutic experience, as it helps the coachee to see things clearly that have previously have not been understood.

In coaching, we still have to use the past. Sometimes we have to look into the past to understand the origins of the current belief system, but the primary aim of coaching is to help clients develop a more effective way of thinking about life and a more complete and accurate model of reality in the present.

For many people, this is the root of most problems - having an inaccurate model of reality and struggling from the conflicts that arise between the model and the way the world really works.

2. Coaching is not mentoring. ?

?A mentor is someone in your field, 10-20 years ahead in the game. They are maybe someone who you might want to become or at least someone you would want to model after.

As a coach, I am not a mentor.

While I can be both a coach and a mentor for someone in my current profession (talent acquisition), the purpose of coaching differs from mentoring.

A mentor guides you from the height of their experience, helping you avoid their mistakes and learn from their lessons.

Coaching, sometimes is using similar methods, involving exposing clients to superior models of thinking but ultimately coaching is guiding people through their own life experience and teaching them how to tap into their own source of inner intelligence.

3. Coaching is not teaching. ?

As a coach, my job is not to fill your head with knowledge. It’s not a lecture, nor it is an information download.

Sometimes I may need to use teaching as a tool (to share a piece of knowledge or a mental model that is useful in the context of our conversation), teaching is not the primary purpose of coaching. I rely on teaching when the shortcut to information is just more efficient and more impactful pathway than guiding to the insight through coaching questions.

4. Coaching is not consulting. ?

A consultant solves problems for you, often in a short time frame, and gets paid well for this expertise.

As a coach, I am not the expert in you. You are.

My job is to enable and equip you with the tools and frameworks you need, providing a new perspective and helping you reprogram your mind so that it could serve you as your best tool.

With that being said...

What Coaching?Is:

Coaching is a transformational conversation.

To change your life, you need to change your behavior. To change your behavior, you need to change your beliefs. To change your beliefs, you need to develop new way of seeing - seeing through the flaws in your past logic, seeing the reality and yourself through new superior systems of thinking.

That what coaching really is - a thinking upgrade.

Here’s a mental model I share with my coachees in the first meeting - an easy and straightforward way to think about coaching.

?? Your brain is hardware.

We don’t get to choose our hardware. If you’re lucky, you’re born with a healthy body and a high-functioning brain. Modern science introduces the concept of neuroplasticity, meaning you can change and develop your brain through undergoing certain experiences. Simply speaking, you do have a certain ability to upgrade your hardware, however, there are certain limitations to your intellectual capacity defined at birth.

?? Your mind is your Operating System.

Think Windows or Mac OS - you are literally using your Mind to operate in this world. The more high-functioning your system, the more brain power, balance, fulfillment, and manifestation ability you will be able to experience in your life.?

?? Beliefs are like applications.

They can be installed, uninstalled, or upgraded.?Each app (belief) serves a particular purpose. Or - served a purpose before but is no longer useful and is just slowing the system down.

???? You are the software developer.?

You are the one responsible for writing the code for your mind. You can program and reprogram your mind. You also have the ability to entirely erase lines of code that no longer serve you.

???♂? As a coach, I act as a QA (or a debugger).?

My first job as a coach is to bring the programs that run deep in the subconsciousness to the level of your awareness, allowing you to see and recognize them clearly.?

Once you are fully aware of the thinking processes that are taking place in the mind you can harness them.

When it comes to controlling your mind:

You do not control what you don't understand. You can't understand what you don't observe. There are 3 major tools of self-observation: meditation, journaling, coaching.

My second job is to pressure-test the code. If the code breaks, you have the opportunity to rewrite it and install new programs, that would essentially lead to new beliefs, new behaviors, and ultimately, a systemic lasting transformation in your life.

Your current Belief System is the Legacy code.?

All the programs that are running inside your mind were preinstalled before you matured enough to develop critical thinking systems (preinstalled by your parents, society, culture, language, tradition, school system etc.)

Your Mind is complex, and there are many parts of it that have not been processed or understood. Somewhere in the depths of your mind there could be errors hidden in the code that prevent you from achieving your goals or finding the peace within. My job as a coach is to help you find those bugs and eliminate them.

So basically, Coaching is a Software Update (or Disk Defragmentation).

It might take an hour, but the whole OS will run much faster and in much more efficient way.?

I hope this mental model helps you to understand better what coaching is really about.

In a nutshell, my job as a coach is to help you become a more high-functioning, more effective thinker. To help you take full control of your mind. And your Mind is everything - it is your ultimate tool of Reality Creation. What you think you become.

Thoughts become words.

Words become programs.

Programs become systems.

Systems become destiny.

→ The way you control your thoughts is the way you fulfill your destiny.

I hope this is helpful, and this mental model can be a great starting point for you to explore coaching, and maybe even start having discovery conversations with coaches.

I believe:

The world doesn't need more information. The world needs more coaches.

I hope you find the right QA for your mind who will help you actualize your full potential.

Life is too short to live in the fear of mediocrity.

Best,

C.

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