What IS coaching anyway?

When I say I'm a coach, I've got to admit a fair few people turn around and ask a bit sheepishly - "What IS coaching anyway?"

I often describe coaching as a conversation that helps you slow down in order to speed up. But that may not leave you much wiser - so let me say a bit more...

I've noticed that however much we long for something to change, if we're left to our own devices we can get a bit stuck - I know I did for many years. And that's where coaching can work its magic.

Put simply, it's an agreed partnership between you and your coach to help you get unstuck and if it's successful you'll fulfil your potential, perform better and probably be much happier to boot!

At it's heart, coaching is a conversation to help you reflect and figure out what you really want and support you to take action so you actually get it!

It's at this point a lot of people quite reasonably ask "Can't I just get that from a chat with my friends/family/boss/ colleagues?" My answer to this is "YES, AND....."

YES - of course you can (and often should!) talk to your nearest and dearest and other people in your life about what you could do.

AND - however well intended and caring they are, they will usually have a filter through which they listen and give their advice. Now I'm not saying they have bad intent - it's part of being human and we all do it. Let's look at an example.

e.g. You've been told you've got a strong chance of getting that promotion if you throw your hat in the ring, but you know it will be a lot more work - at least initially.

• Your partner may be really chuffed for you and can't wait to tell your friends how proud they are of you.
• Or perhaps they're worried they'll see even less of you and can already feel the burden of picking up extra stuff at home.
• Your kids (if they're anything like mine!) will just want things to stay the same - so they continue to feel safe and secure.
• Your colleagues may be excited for you, but also feeling a bit anxious they're behind on the promotion track and unsure what it might mean for your friendship.
• Meanwhile, perhaps your boss is desperate for you to take the role because it will reduce their stress & take a lot off their plate.
• Or maybe the promotion is outside their team or company and instead your boss will do anything to keep you.

Now these are just some examples to show that most of us have a filter - whether a conscious one or not. And so however much you gather views from those around you, you always need to be aware of it and remember just because you're ready to change doesn't mean those around you are.

That's where coaching is different. A good coach is independent, with no agenda for you other than the one you bring.

• They'll help you explore.
• They'll help you see blindspots.
• They'll help you reframe things.
• They'll help you see your potential and see possibilities.
• They'll help you shift your energy.
• They'll help you figure out what you want deep down.
• They'll challenge you.
• And they'll keep you taking action and moving forwards.

And above all they will listen. When was the last time you spoke and really felt listened too. That in itself can work miracles. Because all of a sudden you hear yourself. And that in my view is when the magic happens.

Next up in my "About Coaching Series" is "How to pick the right coach for you".

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