What is ‘charisma’ and do we need it?
Trisha Lewis
Unsquashed living ??Calling out the Fears Illusions and Baggage that hold us back (FIBs!) ?'Say It Out Loud' Power Hour Coaching ????♀? ?TEDx Speaker?Author: The Mystery of the Squashed Self?Podcast Host
And if Boris has it — do you want it?
Apparently Boris Johnson has charisma and his counterpart lacks it.
But what is charisma and what use is it to you?
In a recent interview, Sky’s political editor Beth Rigby used the charisma word when she asked Sir Keir:
“Do you sometimes feel a bit envious that he’s able to cheer the country on? That somehow he is quite charismatic.”
Keir’s humorless, non-smiling response was sensible, valid and dull.
“My concern about the Prime Minister is he is good on the rhetoric but he’s not good on governing.”
Come on Keir — no twinkle in the eye? Not even a bit of self-deprecating humour to liven things up?
And please, please run your fingers through your perfectly carved hair — and release a tendril so we can admire the way it tumbles carelessly over your forehead.
Of course that sounds frivolous and of course we should be talking about policies and people’s lives — not hair.
But — and it is a big but — to gain and stay in power you need more than policy — you need personal presence as a leader.
You need to garner influence and you need loyal supporters.
So it looks like this charisma thing could be a useful tool — doesn’t it?
Stick with this if you are in some doubt.
It is layered.
Let’s start by examining charisma through the lens of Boris and Keir.
Why are some people considered charismatic?
To begin with, you and I will have our own responses to the charisma factor of an individual.
That response will be influenced by our baggage and own character.
You?could think someone was oozing with charisma while I found them to be an arrogant bore who reminded me of my ex.
Neither of us is right or wrong.
Charisma is in the eye of the beholder.
This is demonstrated in a recent ‘You Gov’ poll?on ‘what the world thinks’ about Boris.
When asked to chose one word they associated with Boris — those who liked him had these as their top 5 -
“charismatic”, “eccentric”, “flamboyant”, “different”, and “intelligent”.
But look how the words flip into something far less desirable when coming from those who did?not?like him —
“buffoon”, “idiot”, “liar”, “clown”, and “untrustworthy”.
Feelings about someone’s charisma factor are based on emotions and the judgement is subjective.
My father was described as ‘charismatic’ — and I could see why. But I have struggled to embrace this quality (which apparently I do have) — for fear of being all the other things I felt my father was!
I can see those negative things in Boris. I don’t know him personally — I am only going on a hunch.
What are the ‘charisma’ behaviours that Boris displays in public?
Keep that word ‘public’ in mind — it is part of the deal.
What are the ingredients of ‘Boris Charisma’?
A quick rummage through YouTube clips of interviews with Boris and?Keir?throws up some blatant charisma ‘vibe’ differences.
I deliberately made my observations of Boris by watching?a ‘serious’ interview?— to level the Keir/Boris playing field.
Look out for:
This is not a list of right and wrong — it is simply unpicking this ‘thing’ that Boris is described as possessing — a thing labelled ‘charisma’.
What about sensible, steady, solid Keir?
I have already pointed out that charisma is subjective. Charisma is also judged alongside context.
In our ‘positivity meme’ and ‘celeb-drama’ craving times, Keir is an irksome interruption of factual doom and gloom.
If we turn back the clocks to the year I was born — 1957, some had a different requirement from political party leaders. Being a bit dull was an asset after the previous decade of drama.
Here is an extract from The Manchester Guardian discussing Harold Macmillan’s TV appearance in November of that year:
It was the manner rather than the matter of Mr Macmillan’s speech which was important…. He looked the viewer in the eye and managed to both look ‘sad’ at Sir Anthony’s retirement — and confident, about the future, without seeming over-confident. He appeared a good solid man in whom any family might trust — even a little dull, as all dependable men may be allowed to be at times…
How come he could get admired for this when Keir is slated for the same quality?
Context. Timing. Demand.
A recent Ipsos MORI poll?looked at how Keir was performing a year into leader of his party.
The public were asked to rate Keir and Boris on personality traits.
Johnson led Starmer on having ‘a lot of personality’ and being a ‘strong leader’ whilst Starmer only led Johnson on a rather important yet possible dull trait — ‘he pays attention to detail’.
Charisma is the mask behind which awful leaders climb and the blocker to those truly great leaders that do not possess it.?
What about the ‘bad boy’ appeal?
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Returning to the above mentioned YouGov poll, the public were asked what animal Boris was like and which house he would be in if at Hogwarts.
Answer — snake and Slytherin.
Bit slimy then.
On a recent radio phone in I heard Keir described — not for the first time — as ‘wet’.
That’s a different kind of slime.
Journalist?Angela Epstein?believes that Keir struggles ‘to shake his robot image’ whereas Boris has a ‘large personality which he displays regularly’.
And?Joe Peck of the Young Fabians?echoes this by pointing out that Boris drowns out the ‘factual’ detail coming from Keir — by employing ‘sweeping statements with characteristic bluster’.
So — the class clown bad boy bullying the quiet clever kid.
Is it partly our fault that this kind of charisma is so popular?
Consider this prophetic line from Neil Postman’s?‘Amusing Ourselves to Death’.
As we ‘amuse ourselves to death’, do we both demand and despise personal charisma?
I can’t think about Boris or Keir anymore.
Let’s look again at the meaning of charisma and try to ascertain whether you need it.
What is charisma?
If you want to go deep on the origins and evolution of the word —?go here!
For now — let’s just say there is an elusive, enigmatic quality involved.
When we use the term ‘x-factor’ it is in the same adjective arena.
But there is a tipping point between?‘superficial charm’?and what is often referred to as ‘authentic charisma’.
And this is what matters when it comes to the ‘do I need it’ part of the debate.
What is ‘Authentic Charisma’?
Being authentic?is?charismatic — simple!
Authentic charisma is based on being real and not the smoke and mirrors enlisted in superficial charm.
Superficial, charm-oozing charisma might get you quick wins and blindly?adoring followers, but authentic charisma will lead to long term healthy relationships and lasting, mutually discovered, influence.
The former lacks the trust element.
The latter has trust at the core.
The key ingredients of authentic charisma are:
~ Aside from impression management tweaks, you are who you are as a person and a leader, business owner or speaker.
~ A real listener who is alert to the mood, personality and communication styles of others and open to learning.
~ Self-assured without being self-centred. Helpful without being a doormat!
Can we think of an example -sticking to male politicians?
I give you Barack Obama.
And yes — it could be Michelle too.
{If you want to explore ‘Obama charisma’ deeper and with multi-perspectives — I recommend this research article?‘The Enduring allure of Charisma: How Barack Obama won the historic 2008 presidential election’}
But — bottom line, this authentic kind of charisma is well worth cultivating — and cultivate it you can.
But back to you deciding if you ‘need’ charisma.
The rewards of developing your authentic charisma?
People listen to you — willingly.
You have an inner and outer confidence born out of feeling aligned and ‘released’ from the ‘squashers’ of?people pleasing,?comparisonitis?and?impostor syndrome.
When you feel aligned it shows — and people trust you and warm to you. You feel more at ease because you are being real.
When you smile from inside to out rather than superficially — people pick up the vibe and you feel confident, relaxed and energised.
When you listen in a truly present way — you give people a gift and you pick up insights that you will then feed back into your conversations and messaging — resonating as you go.
As?Olivia Fox Cabane?says —
Being charismatic does not depend on how much time you have but on how fully present you are in each interaction.
When you grow in confidence that is built on solid foundations not arrogance, entitlement or showmanship — you keep growing your authentic charisma.
When you do this — your charisma is contagious — in all the best ways.
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All things human self-belief are explored in ‘The Mystery of the Squashed Self’.?
I have a?YouTube Channel?with videos on this topic and other communication and confidence tips and I post regularly here on?LinkedIn.
Host of the?‘Make it Real’ podcast.
Resources and coaching options at?www.trishalewis.com
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11 个月Great share Trisha. Look forward to learning more from you.
Helping Mid-life Professionals ditch emotional baggage after trauma, grief, loss, life transitions & burnout | Move forward with purpose, resilience & confidence. ?? Certified Coach, Mentor & Trainer.
3 年I loved reading this article Trisha Lewis How well timed is this? Just in time for our next online Business Women's book club meeting, when we'll be reviewing and discussing 'The Charisma Myth' by Olivia Fox Cabane https://www.eventbrite.com/e/enlivened-ladies-book-club-tickets-187626454777?aff=ebdssbeac&keep_tld=1
The Expert Career Coach For Female Leaders At A Crossroads?Helping You Confidently Step Up, Achieve Your Potential, Shape Your Career Strategy, And Get The Promotion And Recognition You Deserve?
3 年This is fab - I loved reading it, and so true about charisma being in the eye of the beholder! But as you sat it only takes a few tweaks to encourage engagement and relatability. Maybe Keir should hire you as his Comms coach!
Equipping Leaders in Public, Nonprofit, and Professional Sectors to Handle Difficult Conversations, Build Strong Teams, and Achieve Lasting Success | COMPASS Model Creator | DiSC Facilitator | Leadership Mentor
3 年Very thought-provoking as usual Trisha Lewis. I do think that it is in the eye of the beholder!